Page 146 of Gabriel's Album

Elena sits on my lap, and I put my arms around her as I watch the people dancing in front of us. I’m reminded of April’s party, and of dancing with Ariana. I catch my train of thought and push it away. I’m committed to trying to see if this relationship with Elena can become something more, and it definitely won’t if I keep thinking about my ex-girlfriend.

So, I turn Elena sideways on my lap and kiss her.

* * *

Elena is sitting stifflynext to me in the waiting room of Brendan’s office. We’ve barely spoken ten words to each other since I picked her up at the airport. She’s staying with me this week, but it’s uncomfortable, and she’s been sleeping in the spare room.

“Gabriel and Elena, lovely to see you both again,” Brendan says when we’re in his office. “How are things going?”

There’s a solid foot of space between us on the couch, but I try and put a positive spin on things anyway. “As good as can be. We did the exercises you mentioned.”

Ugh. The exercises. This is our third joint session with Brendan, and he’s had us listing five things we appreciated about one another every day since we had a Skype session with him last week. Plus, we’ve each been keeping a journal of our emotions.

In reality, Elena’s compliments are frequently backhanded insults, and I struggle to find five new things each day. Things have deteriorated so badly between us in the last six weeks that I don’t know how much longer I can keep going like this.

“Yes, they went okay, I think,” Elena tells him.

“Do you feel like they’ve brought you closer with Gabriel?” Brendan asks.

“Not really. He’s still in love with his ex and not me,” Elena shrugs.

There’s no sting to this barb anymore. Elena has thrown Ariana in my face so many times since that day in my apartment that I’m used to it. I’m just tired.

“Do you agree with that assessment, Gabriel?” Brendan turns to look at me over his glasses.

I sigh and shake my head. “Yes and no. I’ve been very open about my feelings for Ariana, but it’s hard for me to even try and move forward with Elena when she keeps throwing that in my face.”

“You say that as though I’m just meant to magically forget that she told you she would wait for you. How are we supposed to move forward when I know that she’s just waiting for the next opportunity to steal you from me?” Elena snorts.

Brendan frowns at Elena and says, “People aren’t objects, Elena. They can’t be stolen. You do make a good point, though.” He turns to look at me. “How do you think Elena feels knowing this information about Ariana, Gabriel?”

My jaw tightens as I think about it. We’ve been around in circles on this. Ariana didn’t want me to break up with Elena for her. On the other hand, Elena feels as though Ariana is hanging over our heads the same way Ariana thought Elena would. If I’m being honest with myself, I wanted Ariana back from the moment I saw her at the meet and greet.

“It can’t be easy.” I turn to look at Elena, who’s got her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed. “I do have feelings for you, Elena. What we were building together was good, but as soon as Ariana came back…with the way it ended between us, it just feels like she and I aren’t finished.”

I swallow heavily and take a deep breath, feeling guilt and relief flood through me in equal measure. I think I’ve known this was coming for some time now.

“I think you’re right, Elena. It’s not you, though. I don’t think I could move forward with anyone until Ariana and I were really finished.” I cringe and then sigh while Elena looks unmoved by my words.

“If you’re really so hung up on the girl that broke your heart, then we should probably stop pretending you’re not going to go back to her and just go our separate ways.” Elena turns to look at Brendan and smiles at him as she picks her bag up and stands up from the sofa. “Thank you for your time, Brendan. I’m sorry you can’t count us as a success case.”

Brendan says, “Wait a moment, Elena.”

She ignores him and strides out of the room, slamming the door behind her. I turn to look at Brendan with my eyebrows raised and my eyes wide.

“Well. That happened,” I say with a grimace.

“How are you feeling right now, Gabriel?” he asks, tilting his head to the side.

I think about it, and a small smile crosses my lips. “If I’m being totally honest? Relieved. I wish that I hadn’t dicked Elena around, but I’m glad it’s over.”

“So, what are your plans in regard to Ariana?”

Oh my god, I’m free to go to her now. My smile turns into a grin, and I feel my heart piecing itself together in my chest again. I can see her face in my mind and hear her voice.

“Whether it’s two weeks, two years, or two decades, I will still love you.”

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