Page 143 of Gabriel's Album

“Sure,” she says in a soft voice.

I lead her over to the sofa, where she sits down, and I sit nearby, but with a gap between us so we’re not touching.

“How much do you know, or how much have you been told, about Ariana?” I ask.

“She’s your ex, right? The one you wroteHeart Wide Openabout.” I nod my confirmation, and she continues, “I know a bit. I mean, she obviously did a massive number on you. She’s never been mentioned kindly, that’s for sure.”

“Right. I can imagine. Well, Ariana lives here in Chicago”—I see a dawning realization come over Elena’s face as I speak—“and I met her just before we went on our first tour. We started dating, and she came with me on the tour. We had our ups and downs, but I loved her despite everything that was bad between us. Then, she left the day after the Grammys amidst a total shitstorm of media, and none of us ever heard from her again.”

“Why are you telling me this, Gabriel?” Elena asks in a surprisingly shaky voice.

“Because she came to the concert on Friday,” I say quietly.

Elena doesn’t say anything for a minute, and I think for a second that she’s going to just walk out. Her voice is icy cold when she finally speaks again.

“I assume there’s more.”

I nod at her and swallow heavily. “Yeah, there is. So, on Monday I went to see her. We talked and kind of just cleared the air between us. I told her that I had a girlfriend, and we left it at that.”

Elena exhales a big breath of air and says, “Okay, that’s not as bad as I thought. I really was thinking you were about to break up with me.”

I feel awful, because I wish I could leave it at that, but I can’t. I have to be honest about what I’ve done, because Elena needs to know everything before she can make her own decision about our relationship.

“That’s not everything,” I tell her and wince when her face falls again. “I messaged Ariana the next day, and we kind of started talking again. I thought we could just be friends, you know? I mean, obviously, we have history—”

“You wrote a whole fucking album about her, Gabriel!” Elena glares at me. “That’s more than just ‘history.’”

I nod and say solemnly, “You’re right. I’m sorry, I should’ve known better.”

“So, you started talking to her again. Did you have sex with her?”

I shake my head. “No, but I wanted to.”

“Did you send her dirty pictures?” Elena purses her lips and narrows her eyes at me.

I shake my head again. “No. We just talked. Then, I invited her to come here last night.”

Elena’s eyes widen, and guilt and shame flow through me again because it’s obvious that Ariana means more to me than any friend would. I had no right to invite her here.

“We had dinner and watched a movie on Netflix. Then when the movie ended, I almost had sex with her. She stopped me from making a move on her and reminded me that I have a girlfriend. If she hadn’t come to her senses, I wasn’t about to come to mine,” I admit.

It sounds a thousand times worse saying it out loud. The fact that Ariana had to stop me, that I was going to fuck her without a second thought about being in a relationship with Elena, makes me feel utterly ashamed, and I hate myself for being such an asshole.

“Well, thank fucking godoneof you had the decency to think of me,” Elena snarls. “So, I’m assuming that you’re telling me this as, what? Your way of letting me down gently? Your explanation for why you’re breaking up with me? Are you trying to give yourself a nice little pat on the back for not fucking her last night and waiting until you do this to me instead?”

I cringe in the wake of her anger, because it’s not undeserved at all. I sigh and wait for a moment before speaking, trying to gather my thoughts. Elena is breathing heavily and still glaring at me.

“I’m not doing any of that, Elena. If you still want to be in a relationship with me, I don’t want to break up with you. I’m telling you this to be honest with you. If we’re going to remain in a relationship, you need to know the truth.”

She looks confused and frowns at me. “So, is that everything, then? Is there any other information you’d care to impart?”

I brace myself for this bit, because if telling her I almost had sex with Ariana was bad, I think this might be worse because it means so much more.

“There’s one more thing,” I say cautiously.

“I’m sure I’ll regret asking this, but what is it?”

I look across the room and stare at a painting on the wall, unable to look at Elena as I say, “Ariana told me that she’s still in love with me and that she’ll wait for me. She told me that if you and I break up, she’ll be there.”

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