Page 136 of Gabriel's Album

“You’re welcome,” she chokes out.

She turns to leave, and I can’t just let her go. So, I catch her hand, pull her back to face me, and step forward so that our bodies touch. I place one of my hands around her waist, holding her tightly against me, and I’m shocked by how right this feels. I lift her chin up with my other hand, forcing her to look at me.

“If I had known that you would walk back into my life, I would’ve waited three more months,” I whisper while looking directly into her eyes.

I allow myself to kiss her forehead before I release her, and then I force myself to walk away. Everything about this feels entirely wrong. I can’t believe that, after two years, I finally got the chance to have this conversation.

I’m feeling mixed up and confused, though. I don’t have any of the sense of resolution that I’d convinced myself that talking to her would give me. I have a girlfriend. I’ve moved on. What do I think is going to happen here?

“I’m not over you, Gabe.”

Her voice echoes in my head as I get into my car and turn it on, considering the situation as I pull away from Ariana’s work. What do I do with this information? I don’t know how to handle this, or who to talk to. Heather and Sebastian are out, of course. That means Harrison isn’t an option, because I’d have to ask him to keep a secret from Heather.

Instead of continuing on the road to my apartment, I take a left and head toward Hayden’s place. I park in the underground garage of his building and put a code into the elevator to take it up to his apartment.

“Hayden?” I call out when I get inside.

“Gabriel?” he calls back, sounding surprised by my visit.

I follow the sound of his voice to find him sitting on his sofa, playing a video game.

“Can we talk?” I ask.

“Sure,” Hayden says and smiles at me.

He saves his game, then turns off the TV and gets us each a coffee. We sit back on his sofa, and I take a deep breath before exhaling it slowly.

“I went and saw Ariana today,” I confess to him.

“I thought you might do that. How did it go?”

I’m not even sure how to put into words the way that I’m feeling right now.

I frown at him and sigh. “As well as it could. Better than I expected. Worse than I expected. All at once.”

“I see.” Hayden takes a sip of his coffee. “Sounds complicated. Are you going to break up with Elena when she comes to Chicago?”

My eyes widen and my eyebrows fly up. “Whoa. Just…give me a minute to process it. Three days ago, I didn’t think I’d ever see Ariana again.”

“You’re not in love with Elena, so I just assumed…” Hayden trails off and flushes pink.

I flinch at his accurate assessment of my feelings for Elena. I certainly enjoy her company, and I think that what I feel for her could become something more with time. It just feels…colorless when compared to my feelings for Ariana. Those are in blazing color, and even being in her presence today felt as though my world had righted itself again.

“It’s not as simple as that. Ariana hurt me. You know that. I probably still love her, but I haven’t forgotten how it was between us. The highs were high, but the lows were pretty fucking low,” I admit.

“Your relationship was kind of toxic. Do you think it would be that way now?”

“Who knows? She told me she’s not over me,” I tell him, feeling a thrill run through me as I hear her voice in my head again.

“I’m not over you, Gabe.”

“How do you feel about that?” he asks carefully.

I consider it. If I’m being honest with myself, I feel amazing, but terrified, and guilty because I have Elena to think about.

“I don’t know how to feel. I thought I was about to move on, but suddenly she’s all I can think about. She’s a real estate agent now. She won the tickets to our concert by winning a sales competition at her work,” I tell him proudly.

Hayden’s eyes widen and he nods in approval. “That’s impressive.”

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