Page 110 of Gabriel's Album

“Ari, I waited all day for you to call, but you didn’t,” I sigh. I’ve given her so many options, but I consider another one. “Is there someone else I could speak to instead? I just want to know you’re okay.”

I have dinner with Sebastian and Hayden in one of the restaurants in the hotel. It’s a small distraction from waiting for Ariana to call me back, but she still hasn’t by the time I get back to my suite. I sigh and dial her number.

“Ari. I’m going to bed, but my phone will be on, as always. I still love you.”

When I wake up the next morning, I have a heavy heart. I’m losing hope that Ariana will contact Heather in time for her to see her in Chicago. Today is her brother’s wedding, so I don’t expect her to be able to see Ariana at all today, even if she does contact her. That leaves tomorrow, but I’m not sure what time she and Harrison are flying back to California.

I call Ariana and close my eyes as I listen to her voice. Hearing her talk to me is beautiful and painful all at once. “You’ve reached Ariana Chamberlain. Sorry, I can’t get to the phone at the moment, please leave a message after the tone and I’ll get back to you.”

“Ari. I don’t even know why I’m leaving messages anymore.” I consider why I am. It’s because I can’t give up on her. Not yet. “I’m pretty sure you’re not listening to them, but they make me feel like we’re still connected. I love you.”

I end the call and sigh. Those moments of connection are finished again. I won’t hear her voice unless she calls me, or I call her again. The broken connection slices through me, and I can’t fight the tears that hit me.

Hayden and Sebastian come and see me in the morning on Saturday.

“Want to come out on a boat with us today?” Hayden asks.

I glance at my phone, then shake my head. I can’t risk missing Ariana’s call today, since Heather’s flying back tomorrow.

“Gabriel, come on. It’ll be fun. We’ve chartered a boat, so there won’t be anyone around except the captain,” Sebastian says.

“No, you guys have fun. I don’t feel like going anywhere today,” I shrug.

They exchange a glance, and then Sebastian frowns at me. “Come on. You can’t spend all day just fucking waiting by your phone. What’s the harm with coming out with us?”

“I said no. I don’t want to. Can’t you respect that?” I ask, my jaw tight.

Sebastian and I glare at each other for a few seconds. I can see him considering whether or not to respond. I’m angry, and I’m hurting, and I don’t want to go on their stupid boat ride. I just want Ariana back.

He blows out a long breath of air, then says, “Sure. Stay here if that’s what you want to do.”

They leave, and I mumble a goodbye to them, but they’re back twenty minutes later.

“What, guys?” I ask as I open the door to see them apparently ready to leave the hotel.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Hayden asks.

“I’m sure. Have fun.”

There’s silence for a second, then Sebastian says, “Fine. We’ll be back later. You should probably know that I called Ariana. I asked her to call you, but I doubt she fucking will. If she contacts me, I’ll let you know, but don’t hold your breath.”

I purse my lips and nod my head. They say goodbye, and I’m finally left alone. The first thing I do is dial Ariana’s number.

“Ari. Sebastian said he called and left a message.” I paused for a second and heave a deep sigh. “I’m sorry if he was cruel to you. He’s pretty pissed at you, but it’s not your fault. It’s mine. I wasn’t enough for you to look past everything else.”

I don’t have it in me to say anything else, and I end the call as my last thought takes hold. That was the problem. Me. I spend a lot of time thinking about that during the day. I wasn’t enough for Ariana to get past the rock star fame. It’s the thought that runs through my mind all day.

I watch movies in my suite and order in room service to eat while checking my phone every ten minutes to see if Ariana has called me. I have dinner with Sebastian and Hayden just to appease them, and they tell me about their afternoon on the charter boat. Hayden was very excited to see dolphins, and I force a smile at the pictures he shows me.

Before I go to sleep, I leave Ariana one final message for the day.

“Ari. It’s night now. I spent so much of today just hoping you’d call. Watching my phone and waiting for it to ring. I love you so much.”

18

The Fifteenth Song (Bridge)

I wake on Sunday morning,barely able to believe it’s been a week since the Grammys. I struggle to remember how excited and nervous I was this time last week. I remember the way Heather burst into our room and took Ariana away to get ready for the awards. I feel like an entirely different person now.

---