Page 109 of Gabriel's Album

“I’m going to put it in the backpack. You can check it when I have cell service, but I’m not letting you mope today.”

I glare at him and growl, “Sebastian Fox, I want my phone back.”

“No. Come on, let’s go. We’re burning daylight here.”

I can feel the heat flowing through my body, along with the fear that I’ll miss Ariana’s call. Sebastian starts walking away from me, and I want to tackle him to the ground and get my phone back. I don’t, of course. Instead, I follow him in sullen silence as we begin our hike.

Once we hit the trail, it rises quickly up the side of the mountain. Sebastian was right about it being a workout, and I relish the strain in my muscles as we climb. The physical pain is surprisingly soothing; it fits the emotional pain I’ve been suffering this week.

The city of Los Angeles is a beautiful sight in the distance, while the crisp, cold air fills my lungs and brings with it the scents of the wooded park around us. When we reach Burbank Peak, there’s a tree near the crest of the peak.

Sebastian hands us our bottles of water and walks over to a trunk with ‘DREAMS COME TRUE’ written on it. He opens it and pulls three journals and pens out if before giving one of each to both me and Hayden.

“This is called the Wisdom Tree,” Sebastian informs us. “You write your thoughts, ideas, or dreams in these books. People add to them all the time. I thought this might be good for you, Gabriel.”

I flick through the journal he gave me, reading the thoughts, dreams, and ideas that other hikers have contributed. My heart rate increases as I consider what I should add to this. I close my eyes and take some deep breaths while I think about it. I’ve just achieved a life dream, probably my biggest one, but I know what I want. I begin to write.

I’ve worked hard to get where I am. I’ve succeeded in achieving my goals. What does it mean if I can’t have you?

It’s the thought that I’ve been struggling with since Ariana left. I thought that what we were building together could become something much more. The possibility that she might not come back to me is too painful to bear. I have to cling to the hope that Heather will get through to her while she’s back at home, and we can get through this.

A single tear drops from my face and splashes on the page, causing the ink in front of me to blur. I wipe the other tears from my face and close the book before walking over and placing the journal and pen in the trunk again.

I cough and ask, “Are you guys done?”

“Just finished,” Hayden smiles.

“I’m done too,” Sebastian nods.

If either of them notices my tears, they don’t mention them, and we continue on our way to the sign. On the way there, Sebastian stops and drops the backpack on the ground before pulling out my phone.

“You can check it if you want,” he says as he holds it out to me.

My heartbeat increases as I take it from him, and I can barely breathe as I check the screen. Nothing. I take a deep breath and fight back tears. Surely, Heather should’ve gotten a hold of her by now.

I hand the phone back to Sebastian without saying a word, or even unlocking it. He puts it away without further comment, but for the rest of the hike, my mind is a blur. I can’t focus on the amazing scenery; I can only focus on my inner turmoil. Everything is wrong. I hate knowing that I’m going to see the Hollywood sign without Ariana. She should’ve been here.

When we get to the point where we can see the sign, we finally see other hikers. Sebastian was right about the Burbank Peak Trail being a solitary hike. I see a couple of the other hikers take photos of us, but they don’t approach us.

“Should we go and try to climb the sign?” Sebastian asks with a cheeky grin on his face as he gestures to the chain-link fence protecting it.

“Pass,” Hayden laughs. “I don’t feel like being arrested today. Can you even imagine what Cooper would say?”

“You’re not talking me out of it,” Sebastian smirks, then looks at me, and his face drops. “Okay, bad idea, I guess. Well, let’s get pictures. I’ll put them on Instagram and make Heather jealous, at least.”

We take selfies in front of the view of the sign below us. I’ve gotten so used to posing for photos that when I look at the ones we’ve taken, you can’t even tell that my heart is broken and every cell in my body is aching for Ariana. I look like any other guy out on a hike with his friends.

Sebastian takes some more pictures of the view, then we have a drink of water before beginning the hike back to the car.

When we reach the Wisdom Tree again, I say, “Wait a second.”

I open the trunk and pull out another journal and pen. I open it to write another message.

If you don’t come back to me, I know the pain will fade. My love, though? That will remain the same.

I know Ariana will never read this, but it doesn’t matter. I feel better for writing it down. It’s the truth, as well. I can barely stand to think about her not coming back to me, but even if she doesn’t, I will always love her. I kiss the words on the page, wishing they were Ariana’s lips, and place the journal back in the trunk.

By the time we get back to the car, I’m tired, both physically and emotionally. Sebastian and Hayden talk on the way back to the hotel, but I’m grateful that they don’t push me to talk at all. As soon as I reach the quiet darkness of my hotel suite, I pull out my phone again and see nothing of interest. People have called and messaged, but none of them are Ariana. So, I call her.

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