Page 28 of Cruel Savior

"Some water would be good. And if he doesn’t, we can get one of the prospects to bring us whatever you need. The kitchen at the clubhouse is kept fully stocked."

"Okay," I said absently, already searching the cabinets for what I would need. While my first thought had been to make chocolate chip, I found no chocolate anywhere. That felt downright criminal. Who doesn't keep a stash just in case? If I had to stay here long, I would have to remedy that. Not that I intended to be here long at all. Hell, for all I knew, I'd be out on my ass when he returned. His expression when I'd ordered him out mid breakdown had not been good.

I pushed that memory out of my head for now. I'd deal with that when the time came.

While he had no chocolate,I did however, find everything I needed to make oatmeal cookies, including the raisins. I wondered if that was his favorite. I couldn't remember him ever mentioning anything like that when we were younger, but he was eighteen at the time. All I remember him being focused on back then was drinking, fucking, and riding his motorcycle. Not necessarily in that order, but pretty damned close.

Before I could stop it, a memory of Axel naked popped into my head. He'd been like a God to me back then. A sex God with his lean muscles, smooth skin, and a big—

Fuck.

I glanced over at Patty sitting there staring at me. "Everything okay?" she asked, an all too knowing look on her face.

"Yeah," I said, blinking a couple of times to get that picture of Axel out of my head and me focused again on the task of baking cookies. I had to do something to keep my mind occupied or I'd go crazy. And with Patty here, this wasn't the time to delve back into the case, although that couldn't wait much longer. Based on the timeline of the two deliveries, it wouldn't be long before the killer struck again.

"Did you find what you needed for the cookies, or should I text down to the clubhouse?" She wiggled her phone in her hand as if she was ready to order whatever I wanted right then.

"He doesn't have any chocolate for chocolate chip cookies, but he does have everything for oatmeal raisin. I'll just make those. They are my second favorite."

She smiled. "You sure? I know for a fact they have lots of chocolate in the main kitchen. Lots of the guys have some serious sweet tooths. You wouldn't necessarily think they would, considering how they look, but ever since they put that boxing ring in, most of them don't have any issue burning off extra calories. Which is totally unfair, by the way. I so much as look at a cookie and I gain a pound. It's total bullshit."

I could relate. To both. Before I started working out, I struggled to keep my weight from creeping up. Nowadays though, it was a lot easier. I also didn't indulge in cookies very often. Today, however, I was going to eat my feelings and enjoy every minute of it.

"Yeah, I'm good. I don't really need the cookies either, but staying cooped up in this cabin has me needing to do something, and this is the only thing I could think of besides cleaning. And since this place doesn't look like it needs a cleaning, cooking it is."

She laughed. "Don't be too impressed with Axel's cleanliness. That is also done by either a prospect or one of the club ladies. JD likes the men to keep their focus on their jobs, so there are perks, like this cabin and the others as part of their membership. He's former Army you know. He's a man who thrives on order and brotherhood. He likes rules too, but this isn't the military, so he keeps those to a minimum. Instead, he offers perks that the guys enjoy and keep the club running smoothly.”

"I hope the prospects and the ladies get paid for all of their hard work. I remember when it used to be a privilege to even be allowed to hang around. I always hated that. I often thought those women might have suffered from low self-esteem to put up with that. If JD is still pulling that shit, I'm going to have a problem."

Patty laughed again. "You're quite a pistol. I like that. And don't worry. Those days are long gone. Although I was one of those women back in the day. But I was so head over heels in love I didn't even care. Being able to contribute to their wellbeing played to my strengths, and I took a lot of pride in that. But after JD’s co-president went to jail, things around here changed quickly. JD made a lot of changes and lost half his club over it. But they rebuilt and came back stronger than ever. One of these days, Axel will be the president and he'll probably make changes too. It's what they do."

I tried to imagine JD stepping aside and Axel moving up to take his place. I could see it. Although not any time soon. JD wasn't that old and Axel didn't seem settled enough to take on the entire club. Just like me, he needed more time.

"I was gone by the time Houston lost his dad, but I was here when he lost his mom. It was kind of surprising that he left the club after that, but not really, you know?"

She nodded. "Yep. It was definitely not a great time."

"And JD never settled down with anyone after that?"

Her face fell. "He lost the love of his life the day she got killed. As unconventional and unhealthy as that relationship was, she was still everything to him. I don't think he'll ever take on an old lady unless he truly forgives himself for what happened."

"I'm surprised you are telling me all of this. I'm an outsider. Wouldn't JD frown on that?"

"Are you, though? Do you really think you'd be here in the club VP’s home if you were truly an outsider? I've seen them take on a lot of cases, and not once has Axel brought anyone here. Even Izzy, who I think Axel had quite a crush on, stayed in one of the guest cabins on her own."

I shrugged that off. "He just wants to keep me close so he has access to my data. You know that whole saying about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer? That's all this is."

She frowned, and I could see she thought I was full of shit if I believed the words coming out of my mouth. But I refused to believe in anything else. I'd gone well past the point of hope years ago, and I wasn't about to fall into that trap again.

"If you say so." To which I had no answer.

After that we went back to small talk as I mixed up a big bowl of cookie dough and began getting them ready for the oven. By the time the first tray went into the oven, I'd learned more about the club than I thought I ever would. There weren't a lot of the OG members left, which meant most of them had no idea who I was or probably what I'd been to Axel. Patty had informed me that like me, he did not like to talk about the past.

"But you still know, right?" I asked. "About me?" I couldn't help it. Despite my attempt to keep my mouth shut about the past, I couldn't resist the question.

"That you were his high school girlfriend before he became an official prospect? Yeah. I remember you coming to the compound a time or two with Houston and Axel back in the day. Those two were inseparable back then, and it seemed you showed up in the mix more often than not. For a while I wasn't sure which of them you wanted the most."

"Really?" I'd always been head over heels for Axel from the first time I'd seen him. I didn't care if no one else believed in love at first sight or young love. Back then I did, and it was as real as any other emotion I'd experienced. "Houston was fun," I blushed, hoping she didn't know exactly what I'd meant. "But it was always Axel for me."

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