Page 29 of Cruel Savior

"And now?" she prodded.

I could have shut her down. It was easy enough to see where she was going, but something in me had softened towards this woman and I believed she truly meant no harm or had any sort of secret agenda. Over the last hour I'd gotten a pretty good read on her and it wasn't deceitful.

"There hasn't been anyone since then who's meant as much, if that's what you're asking." I pulled some cookie dough off of the beater and stuck my finger in my mouth. "But that doesn't mean I'm looking for anything from him now, either. Things didn't end well the first time around. That doesn't make me want to repeat it."

"That's not exactly what I asked. But I can read between the lines. You still care about him."

I shrugged, hoping she would take that as noncommittal as I meant it. "I would have been fine if our lives hadn't intersected again. Especially under these circumstances. With a killer after me, I don't want him getting accidentally caught in the crosshairs."

"And that's it. You just don't want him to get hurt?"

"If you're hoping for a grand confession of unrequited love, you're going to be disappointed. I know what we had died. It's okay—now. It doesn't always take a therapist to heal. Sometimes it just takes time and a realistic belief that mistakes were made and sometimes that's how it goes. It doesn't always have to be this big tragic thing."

"Except you did suffer a tragedy, didn't you?"

A fresh wave of anger sparked in me. It was one thing for JD to send her here to talk to me and to try and get me to talk, it was another for him to fill her in on any specific details. That was no one's business, least of all his.

"I think you should leave."

"Amanda, don't. I didn't mean to upset you. I only sensed—"

"Bullshit," I'd quickly gone past anger and straight into rage. "You came here because JD told you about me and my baby. Well, you can march back to him and tell him to keep his nosy ass out of my business. I'm his client, not some charity case who needs to be fixed."

I don't know why I was so mad now. I'd known immediately why she was here and who had sent her.

"I'm sorry." She grabbed her purse from the floor at her feet and walked a few steps backward, her eyes wide, but still soft with pity. I fucking hated pity. It was the one thing I could never handle.

"Don't do that. Do not give me your pitying look. I do not need your pity or anyone else’s.”

“Pity is not the same as concern. You should know that.”

I probably did, but my heart had hardened and my mind was made up. Maybe later, when I’d calmed down again, I could look at this conversation through a rational lens. But for now, I could not.

“There are just some things I’m not ready to talk about with a stranger. Or anyone else for that matter. And definitely not JD. Anything concerning me, outside of this current case, is none of his business. I'd appreciate if you'd pass that along."

"If you'd like. If you change your mind though—"

"I won’t. I'm really tired of people butting into my personal business. But I'll tell you what, if I ever need to talk to anyone, I'll talk to Axel. He's the only one who deserves those details. Not JD. Not my father. Not you. Axel. He's all that matters."

Chapter Sixteen

Axel

I stood justinside my open door and stared at the insanity before me. Every single surface I could lay my eyes on was covered in a sheet of cookies. Dozens of them. Everywhere.

"Uhm—Mandy?" I was almost hesitant to call for her because this didn't seem normal and I didn't know what I was about to find.

Her head poked around the corner from the laundry room, but before either of us could say anything the timer on my oven went off. "Oh shoot. Hang on."

She opened the oven and then must have realized she already had her hands full with a tray. "Crap. Can you clear me a spot right there?" She pointed at the island. "Those should be cool enough to just stack on top of each other."

As if I'd walked into the Twilight Zone, I did as she asked and made room on one corner of the counter, which she immediately filled with the tray in her hand. She then returned to the oven, grabbed the next tray out and then frantically turned from corner to corner looking for somewhere to set it down.

"It looks like you're out of space."

She smirked. "Thanks, Captain Obvious. How about you help me move some of these around and keep the snark to yourself."

The odd smile on her face made me realize she was poking fun and I wondered even further what alternate reality I had just walked into that had turned Amanda Turner into Suzie Homemaker baking cookies in one of my t-shirts and a pink pair of criminally too-short shorts that she had better never ever leave the house in.

---