Page 8 of Fallen Angel

The library door clattered behind her.

Hannah returnedto her dorm room and changed into running pants. Whenever she felt an episode coming on, running always seemed to help. And that was all this was. Her anxiety. Her PTSD. Nothing more. Exercise released her excess adrenaline and managed to calm the tiny sparks across her skin.

Amelia still hadn’t returned from the night before, so Hannah assumed that she was having a late morning with Bryce. Before she left for her run, she shot Amelia a text to see if she was okay—proper roommate protocol, Hannah decided.

Amelia texted her back in record time with:I’m great. I <3 College,followed by a winking emoji and a thumbs-up emoji. As long as Amelia was safe, Hannah didn’t need to know the details.

She pulled out an old Sonoma Valley High sweatshirt from an unpacked box and threw it over her sports bra. It was oversized, thin from age, and reached down to the middle of her thighs. She tied her hair back as best she could, a few curly strands managing to escape, and pushed her headphone in her ears.

Hannah headed for the cliffs on the sea-side edge of campus despite the looming clouds. She ran along the dirt path that was surrounded by wild yellow and green grass. When her feet pounded the ground, it was as if any extra agitation crawling beneath her skin released into the earth. Though the air was humid, the cool breeze from the ocean billowed over the ridge and cooled the sweat that gathered on her forehead and neck.

The rocky brim seemed as though it could go on forever. She stopped at a high point on the trail and looked down on the beach. She was high above the rock shelter where Landon tried to kiss her the night before.

A streak of lightning flashed across the sky. Thunder roared a few seconds after. She jolted. It was as if her organs felt the pain of two years ago. The memory of streaming white electricity piercing her parents’ car flashed in her head.

Rain broke through the humid air and poured down on Hannah. She swallowed the familiar fear, burying it deep. Her jaw tightened, and her knuckles turned white through clenched fists. Though she knew it wasn’t smart to run in a storm, she didn’t care.

This was her fresh start. She wanted to prove that she wouldn’t be afraid of lightning forever. She couldn’t be. She gritted her teeth and ran, pushing her muscles to move faster ’til they stung.

Hannah ran down the path towards the beach, dirt turning soggy beneath her feet. Rain drenched her sweatshirt, but she wouldn’t ignore this burst of determination.

Her vision blurred as she fought against the rain. She arrived at one of the lowest points of the cliff side and started down a steep path toward the beach. The dirt turned to slick mud. She slipped. Her limbs flailed, and she tumbled down the hill.

She grappled for anything that would stop her fall—a patch of roots, a stone, but her fingers skated past each. Sludge smeared her skin and she plunged against the pebbles that lined the beach. Her face ground against their rough edges.

Her forehead stung as she laid against the tiny rocks. Something wet dripped down her lip. It tasted like iron. Covered in mud and scrapes, she lifted herself up. She extended each arm and rotated her wrists, followed by slanting her neck from side to side. Nothing was broken. Taking a hesitant step forward, her legs ached, and her heart raced. She placed one hand against her chest, willing the rapid thump to ease.

The rain pelted harder, and she felt the vibration of the thunder beneath her feet. Despite her will to overcome her fear, her hands shook; adrenaline pumped through her veins.

She thought of the rock formation she visited the night before and the deceptive way it appeared to be a cave. But upon closer inspection, it was nothing but a shallow enclosure that was part of the cliff wall. She decided that if she could make it there, she’ll have won.

Hannah ignored the ache in her legs and ran, unable to see her next step through the rain. She passed the day-old bonfire from the night before—long pieces of torched wood piled against each other, soaked by rain—and another image flashed in her mind.

Large planks of dark wood stacked against a charred stake in the middle of a dirt clearing. Smoke wisped from the deadened fire. The sound of sorrowful cries in the background.

The image was quick, but Hannah didn’t let it slow her down. She jumped every time the lightning cracked against the rolling gray sky. Beads of water rushed down her cheeks, though she couldn’t tell whether they were tears or the rain. Probably both.

She swiped the water from her eyes and sucked more air into her lungs. The fresh scent of dampened earth filled her nostrils. The rock shelter loomed before her. Lightning struck, illuminating the jagged stone that surrounded the smooth blockade.

Hannah stood in front of the stone that filled the arched entrance. The ragged edge of the cliff hovered a few stories above and provided a bit of respite from the torrential rain. She drifted her hand over the stone and took a deep breath.

A cool breeze brushed rain against her neck. Every hair on her skin prickled.

Shaking, she flatted her palm against it. A shock jolted her backward and she hurled to the ground.

A shriek escaped her, and her spine throbbed in pain. Her chest ached for the breath torn from her body. Hannah was now certain that tears were streaming from her eyes. She sucked in a breath as a lightheadedness took over and black splotched her vision.

The car filled with water. Hannah wrestled to unlatch her seatbelt, but her fingers slipped, weak and growing limp. She yanked at the belt and pounded her fists against the window. As the car sank deeper and deeper into the lake, Hannah’s parents looked at each other, fear filling their wide eyes... They gripped each other’s hands beneath the water’s surface and looked to Hannah, panicked. She too knew what was about to happen.

Hannah winced and tried to pace her breathing, but she couldn’t stop the images from blazing against her mind.

Hannah mouthed ‘I love you’ to her mom and dad, bubbles escaping from her mouth. They kept eye contact as long as they could, knowing this was it. Her father’s arms drifted above his head, and his limp fingers grazed the roof. The creases in her mother’s forehead disappeared as her pale eyes became vacant. She felt her own life slipping away…

Hannah’s thumbs tapped ferociously against her other fingers. She laid against the sand, paralyzed for what seemed like eternity. She tapped slower as her breath relaxed. The pricking against her skin steadied and gradually disappeared.

Hannah shook her head to herself. What was she trying to prove? The storm wasn’t letting up and she was scraped and bleeding. She rose to her feet, and her body trembled like the aftershocks of an earthquake. She raised her hands in front of her face, remembering the shock that catapulted her to the ground. Hannah had felt them before, but nothing this intense—nothing that had literally knocked her off her feet. Except for—

A loud boom struck her parents’ car, and bright light invaded her vision.

---