Page 47 of Broken Saint

19

Nova

My entire body shivered at his simple, but true statement. The sexual dynamic between us had been clear from day one and we both loved it. In any other aspect of my life, it simply wouldn't work. I was far too headstrong to let anyone else tell me what to do. But when we were alone, what I wanted and needed seemed to align perfectly to his demands.

Now he was talking about birthday spankings, and I was pretty sure I couldn't quite catch my breath just thinking about it. Wetness gathered between my thighs and my nipples bunched tight against the lace fabric of my bra. They got sensitive when I was aroused, and even the rub of the fabric was almost unbearable. His mouth on them would be so much better. Or even better than that, my mouth on him.

I groaned, unable to hide my reaction from my out-of-control thoughts.

"You would like that wouldn't you?" His fingers trailed down my arm to the tips of my fingers. "If I laid you out across my lap and reddened your beautiful ass with twenty-three hard spankings and then shoved my fingers inside of you until you begged for your orgasm?"

"Yes," I said between gritted teeth. More than he knew.

Something in the way I said my answer must have sparked something in him. I went from sitting on his lap to rolled underneath him in two seconds flat. The hard ground dug into my back despite the blanket and I couldn't care less because he was grinding his dick between my thighs and almost hitting just the right spot.

"I'd prefer fucking you until you came on my cock. The tight clasp of your pussy convulsing around me gets me going." He pressed a series of kisses along my jawline as I thrashed underneath him.

Oh God. His dirty talk alone was about to make me come. I desperately wanted to be naked here at the top of the dark mountain under the glowing stars. That was probably about as romantic as I could get.

"Yes. Yes."

His body stilled on top of mine, causing me to whimper from unfulfilled need. But when he started to lift himself off of me, my mind and body rebelled against it. "No!! Please, don't stop."

He reached down and rubbed his thumb across my lips. I nipped at him. I wasn't playing, and I hoped to hell he wasn't either.

"This wasn't what I came here for," he started. "In fact, I had every intention of keeping sex off the table tonight. But dammit if you don't drive me crazy."

"You?! Look at me. I'm begging you for this. Please, Rock." How much more did I have to beg?

"I know, and it's so pretty." He traced his thumb along my jawline and down the side of my neck. "But I think we're both too raw for this tonight." He encircled my neck with his big hand and squeezed just a tiny bit. "You're not ready for what I want to do to you right now. It's too dangerous."

"Yes, I am." The desperate tone in my voice almost made me cringe, but I was too far gone to really care.

"You're also drunk." He released my neck, lifted off me, and rolled back onto his feet. "I'm not in the mood to take advantage of that. The next time I fuck you, it's going to be intense, and I'm going to have your full attention and devotion without the interference of alcohol or your fucking fake fiancé."

The anger I heard in his voice made me want to cry. Not only for the loss of what could have been tonight, but for the loss of the future that might be. I didn't want to think of—him. Only, now I couldn't stop. Ronin had all the power when it came to my future, and it didn't bode well. He seemed bound and determined to play dirty, and that left me in an impossible situation. And as much as I hated to admit it, Rock was right. My emotions were too close to the surface and using sex with him to escape my nightmare was no longer fair.

He deserved more than that. Hell, he deserved better than someone like me.

With that thought on repeat, I slowly sat up and smoothed down my skirt. I wasn't going to apologize for wanting him like I did, but I sure as hell respected him for not letting it happen. At least one of us had our head on straight.

"So, what now?" I quietly asked, almost afraid of how he might answer.

"I still intend to enjoy the rest of our time here. The stars, the conversation. It's all important. What we have together is more than sex."

I wanted to agree with him, but I had to be realistic about the future. However, for the rest of this little adventure I was going to take what I could get anyway. I didn't want the night to end."Will you share more stories about the MC with me? I think it sounds fascinating."

"It's not. I've been as far removed from that life as I could get for over a decade. When I decided I couldn’t live that life, I had to put it all one hundred percent behind me. And still it wasn't easy. I couldn't hide my background, and I swear to Christ, every single person who has ever had to look into my background wants to call my loyalty into question because of it."

"We can never truly hide from our pasts, can we?” I looked into the distance at the lighted blur of the strip in the distance, my thoughts wandering. “My father is going to do anything and everything he can to make sure I do as I’m told. If I don’t, he’s going to ruin everything I’ve built. I have to stop him."

He stared at me intently, as if waiting for me to elaborate. But I still wasn't ready to tell him everything. I wasn’t sure I ever could. Not when I knew it would forever change the way he looked at me. A man like him would never love a mobster's daughter. He couldn't.

And if he knew the rest?

On a silent shudder, I shut down that train of thought. I refused to think about that night, let alone talk about it. My life depended on me staying silent.

"Our pasts don't have to define us," he finally answered. "Everyone controls their own destiny, whether they believe it or not."

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