Page 46 of Merciless Sinner

His low rumble of laugher vibrated through me. “You’re probably right. All the more reason for us to be together here, don’t you think?”

My stomach tumbled at his words. The idea that he wanted me here all the time was actually kind of sweet once I thought about it. I’d jumped to conclusions and that sucked. I wanted to be honest about my feelings, but it wasn’t easy. I’d been an idiot once before and I struggled with the fear of doing that again.

Alex isn’t Bill,I told myself. Not even remotely.

But the truth was, despite my big plan for a free night of sexual adventure, this had turned into something so much more.

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” I blurted without thinking. “And that scares the hell out of me.”

I felt his reaction instead of seeing it. His body stiffened next to mine. His fingers stilled where they brushed my arm. And I was almost positive I’d heard a sharp intake of breath.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What had I done?

Chapter Eighteen

Harper

Istared up the full height of the metal and glass twenty-five story building towering in front of me like a bearer of doom. I imagined Alex hidden away in his elegant home office with his Bluetooth headset glued to his ear as he handled the myriad details someone in his position took care of.

As CEO of some real estate conglomerate I didn’t begin to understand, he spent an inordinate amount of time conducting business on the telephone. In between today’s important business calls he had attempted to reach me more than once.

My hand tightened on the cell phone I’d yet to answer for fear I’d say something I couldn’t take back. Not that seeing him in person would make any of this any easier, but after everything I owed him more than a phone conversation.

The insistent buzz of another voicemail vibrated in my hand, shredding my nerves even more.

Like it or not, this night had been coming for weeks now. Tonight I would ask Alex to unlock my beloved necklace and release me.

Tears burned at the back of my eyes and the constant pain in my chest tightened. The thought of telling the man I loved that I didn’t want to see him again made me sick to my stomach.

Although not as sick as the night I’d confessed my true feelings to a room that turned so silent after I spoke the ill-timed words, anyone could have heard a pin drop.

I growled in frustration and wiped frantically at the lone tear that had escaped onto my cheek. No. This wasn’t going to happen this way. I had more backbone than that.

Somewhere.

My eyes slid closed as the memory of that night overtook me. There were so many other things I could have said in that situation that might have made things go differently. I could have asked him about his work. Or about his security. That question still bugged me. Why did I need it too?

Or maybe if I’d drank less wine with Zia, I would have kept my guard up better. I could have avoided the confession that screwed everything up. He wasn’t ready. Hell, I wasn’t ready. Sober I knew that. Drunk not so much.

Thank God his phone had rung right after that and he’d been forced to answer it. I’d sat there for a while drowning in the dread of his imminent return. I’d racked my brain for a plan on how to take it back.

Instead I’d heard my mother’s words in my head.

Sink or swim,baby. That’s how life works. It throws chances at you when you least expect it and you often have to jump in blind. Sink or swim. Those are your choices.

Well,I’d sunk. That’s for sure.

After an hour, Alex had not returned and I’d lost all hope. Fair? Probably not. Real? Absolutely. My pleasant buzz had turned into a vicious headache and I had to lay down. After that I must have passed out because I remembered nothing else until the next morning when I woke up in bed alone.

My shoulders sagged.

Oh there had been a note and a story of urgent out of the country business that could only be handled in person. I didn’t doubt it was true, but the timing couldn’t have been worse. I was deflated.

I had told him I loved him and he hadn’t responded. Minutes, hours, days. It didn’t seem to matter. I was a fool. Our relationship had been about sex. That much was clear. I should have clung to that knowledge from the beginning and maybe I wouldn’t be in this position now.

Not that I blamed him per se. He had huge responsibilities and he’d been careful not to make promises. But there had been slips. We both made mistakes. His demanding I live with him had given me the wrong idea. That was on me.

I had to admit things had been a little on the surreal side for a while. Which had gotten me thinking about things I had no business thinking. Like long term type things.

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