Page 38 of Merciless Sinner

“Then what?”

I bit my lip before answering. “I don’t know how to be what you want.”

He brushed my hair at my nape. “That’s ridiculous. You did remarkable the other night. In fact, I couldn’t have asked for more.”

Pride at his words suffused me, making what I had to do all the harder. I hated having doubts.

“Do as I asked,” he spoke low, a dark tone that allowed for no more argument.

Frustrated I couldn’t get my words out, I stood silent as Gerard opened the passenger side door and I slid inside and across the butter soft leather seat.

Alex followed me inside although in my nervous state, I chose to avert my eyes and face forward. The partition between the driver’s seat and our section of the car had already been raised, leaving me and Alex in complete privacy.

In such a small, confined space it became all about Alex. His sleek scent permeated my senses, a wonderful mixture of spice and cologne I would forever associate with this man. I closed my eyes and inhaled deep.

Somehow, some way, I never wanted to forget this part of him. My chest constricted. Saying no to him was going to be impossible. Hell, who was I kidding? No matter how much or how little we knew about each other, somehow he already owned me.

Which meant I needed to tell him the truth about me sooner rather than later before things got out of hand and I lost myself in his control.

Isn’t that exactly what you want though?

But at what expense?

Alex reached for my hands and pulled me onto his lap. His face nuzzled at my neck. “I’ve missed you.”

“I didn’t expect to see you again after the other night.”

“Only because you refused my calls, kitten. I had every intention of pursuing more with you.” He scraped his teeth along my tender skin while he fumbled with something in the pocket of his seat.

“I brought these for you.”

I turned and looked. He held the same leather cuffs he’d used on me at the Glass Kat. My inner muscles clenched. I licked my lips. He wasn’t playing fair at all.

“Don’t want them?”

I shouldn’t. I nodded anyway. I really did.

He smiled and proceeded to wrap them around my wrists until they locked into place. Now what? I wondered.

“Why did you hide from me?” The hard expression on his face demanded an honest answer.

I took another deep breath to steady my racing pulse. “I was afraid. The more time I spend with you the less I want to walk away. But I can’t be the kind of woman you need, Alex. No matter how much I want to.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? We haven’t even had that conversation yet, so how do you know what I need. Besides, why would I want to force you to do something you don’t like?”

“Because I did like it,” I whispered, my throat aching from admitting the truth. The urge to crawl out of his lap and huddle in the corner fought with the desire to burrow closer into his warmth.

“You aren’t making any sense, Harper. How about we start with what you’re afraid of and go from there?”

I stared blankly at him. The words on the tip of my tongue refusing to form.

Alex sighed. “We aren’t going to get very far if you aren’t going to talk to me. Didn’t we already go over this? You have to be honest and tell me what it is you want.”

“It’s the fantasy, Alex. The incredible night of pleasure you and Jeremy treated me to. It was more than I could have dreamed.”

“I agree. Which is why I insisted on seeing you again.”

“But that—what we did that night—it was a one-time thing for me. While I have no regrets, I’m not ready for that kind of relationship. I don’t think I’ll ever be.”

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