Page 51 of Ruthless Redemption

“I thought about it. Even got on my bike and rode into the desert with no concrete plans. Only problem was,” he paused, locking his gaze to mine. “Everything I need and want is in Vegas.”

My heart stuttered as hope exploded in my chest. If he meant what I thought he meant, I was a goner. Only I couldn’t form the words that would ask what he meant.

“That’s you, babe, in case you aren’t hearing the message. I don’t want to leave because I need you in my life. There’s nothing in Seattle for me without you.”

Yep, I was melting as he spoke. But my heart was also kind of breaking because this was exactly what I’d feared. He’d already given up so much for me. It wasn’t fair to ask for more just so he could stay close to me.

“What about the club? Your legacy. Your family…”

He scoffed. “The club is still bad memories for me, Izzy. I’m not feeling clear that I can ever see them as more than that no matter how much they mean to me. At least not enough to live that life again 24/7.”

“But JD—he wanted—”

“It doesn’t matter what JD wants. This is my life and I make my own decisions on what I do with it. Although it might surprise you to know that JD understood. He and I had a long talk. He knows how strong the pull of love is and he damn sure appreciates it when it doesn’t come in a fucked up package.”

The momentary elation of hearing Houston say he loved me crashed and splintered at my feet. He’d just described me and my life to a T.

I dropped onto the sofa and buried my face in my hands. This wasn’t going to be the reunion I’d dreamed of.

Houston dropped to one knee in front of me and grabbed my arms. “Whatever you’re thinking I’d lay good money down that you’re wrong.”

“How can you say that?” I looked up at him uncaring that tears were tracking down my face.

He swiped at each one as they fell and that only made me want to cry harder. “Because you’re crying, Izzy. That’s how I know you’re wrong.”

“Not that,” I cried. “The part about it not coming in a fucked up package! We both know better than that Houston.”

A half chuckle, half growl escaped from his lips. “That’s where you’re wrong. There is nothing fucked up about you babe. You’re seriously the strongest woman I’ve ever met.” When I opened my mouth to disagree he held up his hand to stop me. “No, let me finish.”

He swiped his hands across the hair at his chin. The previous heavy shadow that had perpetually covered half his face was now growing into a really nice sexy beard. I didn’t have a lot of hope for where this conversation was headed, but that didn’t stop me from imagining what that hair growth would feel like between my legs. That thought was enough to make me groan.

“Okay,” I said, wiping that image from my mind. “I’m listening.” At least I hoped I was. Too many nights alone and too many dreams had my mind on ‘other’ things.

“There’s a big difference between someone being fucked up and someone having to deal with a fucked up life. My father, now he is fucked up. And JD living his life with my parents hoping to make their relationship into something good made him fucked up too. Although I still harbor hope for him one day to get his head back on straight when it comes to that. Life is too short to live it without love. But you, Isabella Reed, you are not fucked up. By the grace of something special, you have endured, survived and are about to flourish despite having just escaped a fucked up life.”

Tears were flowing so hard down my cheeks now I didn’t have a hope in hell of stopping them. Thankfully, Houston seemed to know that I needed to get them out as he simply pulled me into his arms and held me as I cried loud, racking sobs that left his shirt damp and my chest feeling hollowed out and empty.

Eventually they stopped and after a few last sniffles I pulled back and swiped at my eyes. I didn’t even want to think about the raccoon style mess I probably had going on with my mascara and eyeliner. It couldn’t be pretty.

“You okay now?” he asked.

Still feeling a little choked up, I nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t even. You don’t owe me an apology for anything. You’ve earned those tears. Every last one of them. I’m just glad that you gave them to me. I don’t deserve them, but I want them anyway.”

God, his words were going to kill me. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to respond?

“Does it bother you that I’m using your name? I just couldn’t bear to continue with Mazzeo. Dead or not, I never want to be associated with him again. I was planning on coming up with something new.”

“Babe,” he said, his voice low and rough. “As far as I’m concerned you can use it forever. For real.”

My stomach trembled at his words. I didn’t want to read too much into what he was saying, but it was too late. I desperately wanted him to stay. We’d both needed a little bit of time on our own to think and figure out our next steps, but now—well, I wanted him in my life more than anything else.

“We’re supposed to be getting divorced soon. My lawyer said the paperwork would be ready next week.”

“That shit means nothing to me. The only thing I care about is having you at my side. Married, not married. Mazzeo or Reed. I give a rat’s ass about anything technical. What matters is me keeping you safe and happy.”

Reminded why he was there, I straightened. “And what’s up with that? You’re in charge of my security? Why?”

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