Page 20 of Reckless Pawn

A full night of restful sleep? Without tossing and turning? Maybe even no dreams. Now that would be worth it. Patty had tried to give me some valium when I first arrived, but I was too afraid to take them. Marco had often given me drugs to keep me calm and after a while I learned I could get through just about anything if I took whatever they offered.

So after I got free from him, I fought through the nightmares without any drugs and now struggled with the dreams. But this was just one tiny little pill. How much could it hurt? And how great would it be to get through just one stupid night where I didn't have to dream about seeing Houston walk away from me for the last time.

I could be numb again. Would it really hurt that much to take it just once?

I grabbed it from her hand and shoved it in my mouth before I could change my mind. Fuck it.

"Here." She handed me a glass half full of dark liquid.

"I thought you were getting her water?" Sasha interrupted.

"Don't be stupid, Sa-Sha. Does she look like she needs water? She needs this."

I grabbed the glass of liquor and washed the pill down. Whatever it took to shut them both up. I winced at the heat suddenly burning in my throat, but it quickly subsided and left a nice tingling that I knew would eventually go numb from the pill.

Sasha knelt down in front of me. "You stay here and take it easy. Mandy, Meg and I can handle hustling the stragglers out of here. The last open table closed right before we came in here anyway so we were about to close. As soon as we're done, I'll come get you and drive you home. I'll tell Eva you're in the bathroom. Deal?"

I nodded. Again, if it meant they would get the hell away from me and leave me alone I'd say yes to anything.

They both slipped from the room and I remembered I still needed to pee.

Chapter Eight

Houston

Houston turned his front wheel onto the compound and killed his lights. It was nearly three in the morning and he was coming in blind. His latest intel had to be relayed in person. He wasn't taking any chances that Frank Mazzeo had ears on the club. The man took paranoid to a whole new fucking level, but this week that had escalated to unbearable. Everyone in the organization was on edge and it felt like something or someone was about to blow.

Not that JD was a slouch in that department.

He pulled up to the twenty-four hour guard and lifted his goggles. "Surprised to see you out here, Blade. Where's the prospects? You piss someone off?"

"Fuck, Houston. What the hell are you doing out here?" He lowered the automatic rifle clenched in his hand. "I see someone pull in this late I think I'm going to get some kind of action. You're lucky I decided to give it a minute before I opened fire."

Houston grinned. "Gotta see JD. Shit in Seattle is getting hot."

"I think he's down at the casino. Let me give him a call and see if he can come back to the clubhouse." Blade pulled his cell out of his front pocket.

"Nah, I'll drive out there see what's happening."

Blade smiled and nodded. "Get some for me. This shit duty sucks." He pressed the button to open the compound gate.

"I'll see what I can do." Houston roared onto the grounds as soon as the electronic gate opened enough for him to get through. He swung to the right and took the service road that led to the back of the property. It surprised him how efficiently the club used so much of the old mill property. With various ventures and mixed housing options for club members, family and employees, little land went unused.

Including the big storage warehouse that had been renovated to become the club's illegal gambling operation. Honestly, he'd been impressed the first time he saw it. Minimal work had turned it into a giant man cave well suited for a variety of gaming tables. They had enough variety to entice even the most seasoned gambler.

He pulled into the parking lot close to the front door and noted only a few cars remained. No bikes, although it was only a short walk from the clubhouse. Hopefully he'd find JD inside, so he could brief him quickly and get his ass back to Seattle before dawn.

Without seeing Izzy.

His body tightened. No matter what he did he couldn't purge her from his memory. The fighting, the drinking, even the nearly nonstop jacking off hadn't made a dent. She was everywhere and nowhere.

However, he had no intention of seeing her and making either of their situations worse. The pain and anger on her face before she turned away from him after the rescue was forever etched in his brain. He never wanted to see that look again. His muscles remained tight as he climbed off the bike and headed for the entrance.

Plus, she was settled now. Reports about her were filled with tidbits about how she'd taken to club life and every day she grew closer to the rest of the family. She'd healed in record time according to Patty, but it was critical they didn't rock her boat too soon or all the work could be for nothing.

Addiction and abuse both fucked with the mind and that could be a fragile thing if not well cared for.

This was business now. Izzy was the past and she had to stay firmly there until he finished this mission. Although he refused to consider beyond that point either. Already too much time had passed with a lot more to go. In their case time was the enemy. The longer it took him to return the less likely a reunion became. He half expected her to choose someone else any day now.

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