Page 5 of Incurably Cupid

Horror nodded and scampered away. I leaned back in my chair again and waited, folding my arms across my chest. There was always one... I didn’t have to wait long before a cupid with deep pink hair and a footballer’s physique approached to drop his packet off on my desk.

I regarded him calmly. “Don’t bother coming back.”

“What! But that’s not fair! I’m just a fast test taker! I answered everything honestly, just like you asked.” His face flushed with anger, and he loomed over me menacingly. I didn’t think he intended to be threatening. He was simply angry and large.

"Back up, please."

He looked confused for a moment until he realized how close he was to me and how much he was hovering. He took a step back sheepishly.

“Let’s see what some of your answers were, shall we? First question: What do you want in a partner? Your answer: A hot body. Second question: What genuine qualities do you bring to any future relationships? Your answer: Money.” I looked at him over the top of the packet. “So that’s it? That’s what you want in a partner you’ll spend the rest of your life with? A hot body? And that’s all you have to offer in return? Wealth?”

He scowled. “Those are my real answers.”

“That isn’t in question. I can see they are. What concerns me, however, is the complete lack of any depth to your answers. Do you have no greater aspirations in life beyond being wealthy?And I can see that a hot body in your partner is important, as I imagine you think that would be ideal in the bedroom, am I right?”

He turned red for a different reason now but mumbled that yes, I was right.

“No need to be embarrassed. Sex is important, but it’s not everything. An ideal partner for a successful and happy relationship requires more than attractiveness, though. What happens if you lose your job? If you lose a parent? When you’re sick? If you become impotent? It happens with cupids, no matter what others might choose to believe or say.”

I waited, but he only shuffled his feet and didn’t respond.

“What then, Shallow?”

He scowled at his new nickname but had no answer for me. I waited for him to make eye contact again before I continued. “I’ll allow you to stay. For now, your name is Shallow. Prove me wrong. You have a lot of growing up to do, and I can help you with some of that. If you choose to stay, know that this class will not be easy for you. It will be brutal. But by the end of it, you might like who you are a little better. If you skate through this class without any real improvement in your character, you will not like your grade at the end.”

“Love 101 and 102 are about teaching you what you’ll need to look for when you’re out in the field. We’re not cupids who match people for a one-night hookup. That’s easy. We match them with their life partners. That requires that we as cupids have a depth and understanding that you currently lack. You will need to prove that you have it by the end of next year’s class before you’re allowed to partner with a senior cupid out in the field as an apprentice.”

He thought over my words for a moment, and I considered this a good sign. I’d initially pegged him as a hothead, but if he was willing to be humble and accept correction and counsel,that meant he was teachable, and that made my teacher's heart happy.

“Can I try again, Professor?”

I smiled and handed him back his packet. “Go for it.”

As the hour wound down, I collected the quizzes into a neat pile, waiting for the few stragglers to finish. Horror was among the last to complete her quiz, but to be fair, she had handed out the packets and spoken to me before she could start answering questions, so I didn’t begrudge her the time.

When the last quiz-taker had finally finished, I shoved all the papers into my bag to look at later and made my way to the fifth-floor campus restaurant,Ooo La La.I found a booth in a secluded corner near the floor-to-ceiling windows and perused the menu. Most replicator food was decent; some was barely edible. It seemed to depend entirely on the personality of the food replicator. Chef-made meals, however, were a treat. We had only three restaurants in Devotion: the University had one, Cupid Inc. had one, and there was another on the far side of the East dorms. The Cupid Inc. restaurant was the best, but I was too hungry to be picky. It was nearing one o’clock, and my stomach was snarling from lack of food. The carrots had only made me cranky.

“What can I get you?”

I glanced at the waiter and held up a finger as I made sure of my choices, then I put the menu down. “Swedish meatball pasta for my main, and an Oreo cheesecake for dessert, please. I’ll also take a hot chocolate with pumpkin spice flavoring.” It was my new addiction; I couldn’t help myself.

The waiter nodded, taking notes on his tablet. “Thumbprint here, please.” He held the tablet out for me, and I pressed my thumb to the signature square. He checked the name that appeared after I pressed my thumb to the tablet and said, “Thank you for dining with us, Indie Valentine.”

When he left, I dug out Leo as well as some quiz packets and a blue Sharpie. I had my head down, reviewing the answers on the first quiz packet when someone swung into the booth opposite me. “How many students did you make cry today?”

I glanced up from the papers and scowled at the handsome man across from me. “Do I know you?”

He smiled and extended a hand. “Mordecai, Professor of?—”

“Statistics of Love,yes, yes, I know,” I interrupted. “Why are you sitting here? You glowered at my carrot crunching in the elevator. I don’t get any better than that, I promise, so go away.”

Mordecai leaned back against the plush booth cushion. He studied me for a moment before saying, without any non sequitur, “My soulmate cheated on me and left me a few years ago. I figure there’s not much you can say to me that will be any worse than that, and I’ve heard so much about you from the whispers of other faculty that I knew I had to meet you.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger, closing my eyes with a sigh. “Why would you tell me that?”

He shrugged. “I’m not much liked either. I figured—maybe we can be friends.”

I looked him over: dark skin, dark amethyst eyes that almost appeared black in the shadows of our booth, deep garnet-colored hair cut short, a medium frame, garnet wings, and a hopeful expression on his face.

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