Page 36 of The Doctor's No-Strings Deal

“I’m excited to compete. I’m going to try my best, and I want you to try your best, too. When I beat you, I want to know it wasn’t because you went easy on me.”

The bones in his jaw shifted as he clenched it. “Yeah. Listen, I’ve got a lot to do. Can we talk about this later?”

She didn’t know what to say to him. His behavior was so cold, even for him. But maybe he was just having a bad day. “Well, I guess I’ll see you at lunch, then.”

“Yeah, maybe.” He turned away from her and into a side room, leaving Megan confused and a little alarmed in his wake. She wondered whether she might have done something wrong, but she couldn’t think of what it might have been. He’d been just as affectionate as ever the last time they met with each other. Something had to have happened between then and now.

Maybe he was just feeling the pressure from the fellowship application. It made sense. Anything that elated Megan usually put Charlie in a foul mood… except spending time together. Spending time together seemed to be the one thing they could count on to cheer them both up.

When lunch rolled around, Megan made a point of finding Charlie and sitting with him. Once again, he barely made eye contact. She took his cold shoulder for about as long as she could before finally calling him on it. “Charlie, what’s going on? Why are you acting like this?”

He picked at his food without actually eating it. “Don’t worry about me. I’m just under a lot of pressure, that’s all.”

She didn’t buy it. His response felt exactly like some kind of brush-off, which, however naïve people believed her to be, Megan could always recognize. She put down her sandwich and stared at the man she had just started thinking of as a boyfriend. After their talk about the fellowship, she really had thought they were on the same page. She had believed him when he said theywouldn’t let it come between them. She had believed him when he said things like,May the best resident win.

Under her breath, she responded, “I don’t believe you.”

His eyes shot up from his food as though she had shouted at him. “What?”

“There’s something you’re not telling me,” she said.

“Why would you say that?” He scowled across the table at her.

“Because it’s true.” Megan set her sandwich down. She seemed to have lost her appetite. “And you know what, I’m okay with it. You don’t have to tell me every time something goes wrong in your life, but lying about it is not fine. Just say you don’t want to tell me. Say it’s none of my business or something, but don’t lie to me. At least tell me whether it has something to do with me or not?”

He glanced across the table at her and hesitated. “It’s not about you. It’s just the fellowship. I’m stressing out over it. There’s so much I have to do to make a real go of it, and I feel like I still haven’t done enough, and there’s never going to be enough time. It’s… It’s just this stupid overthinking thing I always do. It’s not you. I’m sorry you’re taking it that way.”

She wanted to believe him, but there was something about the way he looked at her, or rather the way he avoided looking at her, that made her think he was still not being completely honest. There was no chance in hell prodding him repeatedly was going to get anything out of him. If Megan had learned anything early on, it was that. Charlie was far more stubborn than anyone she’d ever met, and he would not give up his secrets with just a strongpretty please, even if thatpretty pleasecame from his almost girlfriend.

She kept her eyes on him while he stared at his food. “I’m stressed out, too, even though I don’t really show it. Hiding my stress has been a coping strategy that’s worked for me most of my life. Maybe I need to unlearn it. I guess I kind of thought we’d get through this together, help each other and then accept the results, whatever they were. I don’t understand why you won’t let me help you.”

“Because there’s nothing you can do!” he snapped.

Megan recoiled from his burst of anger, having never really experienced it before. Sure, he would walk around brooding for an entire day, but real rage, she had never seen from him. Almost immediately, he withdrew, which was worse than the burst of anger, Megan decided.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I’m just not in a great place today, okay? We’ll talk later.” He stood and took his food with him. She watched as he tossed it in the trash on the way out, without having eaten more than a few bites. Something was definitely more than a little wrong.

For the rest of the week, Megan watched Charlie from a distance. Whatever was upsetting him was bleeding into his patient care, which troubled her more than anything else. Charlie would never allow something small to affect his performance as a resident, so whatever it was, it had to be big.

It shouldn’t have hurt her that he wouldn’t confide in her, but it did. Even though she’d told him it was okay not to tell her, and even though she believed that whole heartedly, it still bothered her. She had confided in him about her mom, and herpoverty, and the stress she felt about her residency. To her, he was someone she could go to with her problems, someone who wouldn’t judge her, or so she thought. Did he not feel the same? Was he convinced she would judge him or make him feel worse? She couldn’t stand the thought of it.

After their shift she caught him in the locker room. “Charlie, can we do dinner tonight?”

He zipped up his coat and collected his things. “I’m afraid I’m pretty swamped, Bright. No time.”

“So you’re not even eating anymore?” She leaned back against her locker and crossed her arms at him.

“Of course I’m eating. I’m just not sharing meals that include meaningful, time-consuming conversation with the competition.”

Megan glared hard at him. “Oh, so we’re back to that are we? All this progress, all those conversations we had and the promises we made… All those nights together, and we’re back to square one.”

“I’m not sure what you mean bysquare one. But if you’re suggesting that not having dinner one night is the undoing of our relationship, then you’ve got some growing up to do.” He swung his messenger bag over his shoulder and headed out of the room.

Megan followed. “It hasn’t just been one night. You’ve been distant for a week. Something is totally up with you, and I don’t buy your story that it’s just the fellowship. You can’t avoid me forever, Charlie Sullivan!” she said when he started walking faster, and she cringed at how much like someone’s mother she sounded right now. Well, what else could you do with a person who was behaving worse than a child?

He was in the garage and stepped into his car before she could get a word out of him. She watched him go, feeling left in the dust before she made her way back to the break room. She’d been banging her head against the brick wall that was Charlie Sullivan for days, and he hadn’t budged an inch. At the table, she dropped her head on top of her folded arms and drifted off to sleep.

Megan had no idea how long she’d been sleeping when Kayla finally nudged her awake. “Wakey-wakey, Sleeping Beauty,” Kayla sang. When Megan lifted her head, Kayla looked shocked. “Wow, what did they do to you? You look like you haven’t slept in a week.”

---