Page 71 of A Virgin for the Ruthless Duke

With that, she turned and walked out of the library without a backward glance. Perhaps she shouldn’t have bothered to wish him happiness.

He was in hell. Men in hell did not need happiness. He certainly did not deserve it.

CHAPTER 25

Selina watched the Mulford estate through the carriage window as the vehicle carried her away from the building that had sheltered her for the past fortnight.

It felt surreal that it had only been that long, even though it felt like a lifetime since the first day of the house party. She guessed that her perception of time might have been altered by the changes that her life had seen in such a short time. She had fallen in love, had a torrid affair, and had her heart broken.

She should probably turn her gaze away from the window, since the Mulford estate was now like a dot in the distance. But she would rather stare at the uninteresting scenery than see the pity in their eyes.

The concern in their eyes had been suffocating from the moment she stepped into the carriage, and she feigned a fascination with the scenery to avoid them.

If she had to endure the looks they gave her any longer, she feared she would burst into tears, even though she felt there were no more tears to shed, considering that she had wept through the night and her eyes were still swollen.

Logically, she knew she was supposed to be angry with Richard for leading her on and then leaving her lonely when she had fallen for him, but emotions were a fickle thing, and they hardly flowed with logic. She missed him not just because of his physical presence but the fact that he was her soulmate. She missed speaking with him, listening to the timbre of his voice as he spoke on subjects he was passionate about. She craved his touch and the feel of his arms around her.

She was in love with him, and she had no other option than to hope that the dull ache in her chest might lessen with time and she would be free of this torment. But for the moment, she had to take one careful step after another, moving on with her life, until it didn’t feel as painful and she could be her normal self again.

“I hope that the Earl will propose as soon as we return home,” Martha piped up, probably tired of the silence. “We must prepare the house to receive suitors once we return,” she continued, vibrating with excitement.

Selina could imagine that her aunt had a huge smile on her face, complete with that dreamy look she always wore when she was excited and lost in happy daydreams.

“I cannot tell you how happy I am about this union. At least all those mamas will eat their words when they realize that my niece bagged an earl. Anearl!” Martha emphasized the title like it was one of a god.

“He is yet to propose, Auntie,” Selina said quietly. “I do not think it prudent to count our chicks before the eggs are hatched. He might decide not to propose. After all, it is the prerogative of the gentleman to change his mind.”

“Hewillpropose,” Martha said stubbornly. “You did not see how besotted he is with you. He will not entertain the possibility of another gentleman stealing you from him. Trust me, my dear, you are as good as a countess already.”

Perhaps Selina should be happy. Many young ladies in the ton would kill to land an earl and become a countess, butshewanted to be a duchess tooneduke in particular. It was a pity that he did not want it to be so. Because she knew in the depths of her heart that she would be content to be his wife even if he was not a peer.

But no matter how much you loved a man, you could not force him to accept adoration. Not when he was in love with his own misery and was content to stew in it, even if it cost him precious time that he could have spent in your arms.

Richard was foolish, stubborn, and aggravating, but he was still the man she loved, and perhaps she was even more foolish for allowing herself to fall in love with a man who had told her over and over again of his inability to marry.

Perhaps in her stupidity, she had thought that the passion between them was enough and could change his mind on the subject, but it did not. So, she had broken her own heart with her own hands. But despite the pain that felt like a permanent weight on her chest, she could not bring herself to regret anything. Every moment she had spent with him was precious. If she could go back in time, she would not change a thing, even while knowing that the outcome would be painful.

“Are you well?” Diana asked tentatively, her voice brimming with concern.

“I am,” Selina lied.

Perhaps if she did so several times over, it might become true.

Her eyes met Herbert’s. There was an unspoken pact between them to keep what he saw in the library a secret, and she could see the concern in his gaze. She quickly looked away, returning her gaze to the window.

“You do look wan, my dear,” Martha noted. “Perhaps a bath will be just the thing to bring back color into your face.”

“Yes,” Selina replied simply.

It would be nice if she could return color to her life that simply. Perhaps she wouldn’t feel so much despair.

Richard was not himself, Johanna came to that conclusion when they returned home. The charming, handsome gentleman who usually avoided her like the plague was gone, replaced by a stranger who just happened to wear her son’s face.

His face was blank, and he spent most of his days in his study staring into thin air without getting any work done. She knew this because the butler had complained to her about work piling up. She had told him to complain to Richard, and she was surprised when he told her that her vibrant, usually compassionate son had taken to snapping at servants and giving curt replies to any complaint.

That had made her raise an eyebrow, and she had stormed into his house, dismayed to see that he looked unkempt, his beard untrimmed and his clothing askew—evidence that he had shunned the servants and they were now wary of entering his study.

“Seymour,” she called quietly. When he raised red-rimmed eyes to hers, she continued. “I require your presence downstairs. I would call for a bath, so wash and come downstairs. You will have breakfast with me.”

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