Page 32 of Why Cruise

“Of course.”

“I mean, it’s like TMI level personal.”

He turned to look at me over his shoulders and narrowed his eyes. “I was three fingers deep in you and licking slick off your thigh hours after meeting. I think we’re way beyond TMI.”

I snorted. He had a point.

“How do you handle heat? Being single and everything.” I bit my lip. My last heat had been a month ago, and I was already nervous about it.

Theo sighed, his shoulders sagging. “I take a low dose heat suppressant, so I usually only have one heat a year, not the typical two or three. The side effects are kind of meh. Your cycle is pretty unpredictable, so you can’t really plan for it and the cramping is a little more intense.” He shrugged his shoulder, and I totally regretted asking the question.

“I was seventeen when I perfumed and about nineteen when I had my first real heat. I had tons of alpha friends back then. Itwasn’t ever a big deal. But then they started joining packs and their pack omegas were less willing to…” he made a vague hand gesture.

“Share.” I added.

“I used the heat hook up apps a couple of times, but those always seemed a little dangerous.”

“Dangerous how?” I patted him on his back to let him know I was done with the lotion. Theo turned and started applying sunscreen to his legs.

“Well, I mean, I met some great people, but they were essentially strangers. You know how heat is. Sometimes you get lost in the moment. So you have to trust they are going to stick to what you agreed on.”

I frowned, a thought tickling the back of my brain that wouldn’t quite form.

“I splurged on an elite heat helper a few times. Fuck, worth every penny. But there are a few government services that will set you up with certified packs. They get training, background checks.”

I hugged my knees to me and chewed on my lip. How much did a heat helper cost?

“What about you? When was your last heat?”

“Ugh, a month ago. Daryl broke up with me right after.”

“What?” Theo turned to me, horrified.

“Yeah, it wasn’t great.” I brushed sand off my fingers and dug in my bag. Jillian had thought of a lot when she’d helped me pack, so I kept hoping I’d come across sunglasses at some point. “He had been trying to get me to let him invite his friends to join one of my heats. I kept saying no. Heat hit a little earlier than we expected and he had a cold, so his friends just showed up to help out.”

Theo opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it.

“He really wants us to join their pack. But their pack house? It’s like a frat house. Two of the guys shared a room with bunk beds. Can you imagine?”

I stole a glance at Theo. He was looking out at the crystal blue water and picked at his nail.

“I guess heat was good, but I was so sore and bruised after. And the next day, all my things were packed. He said I had embarrassed him, I didn’t perform well during heat, that I didn’t pass the audition. And that I’d have to go and apologize. And that he was biting into their pack and if I didn’t say yes right that second, I had to go.”

Once I started, the words just tumbled out. I hadn’t really talked about it to anyone, not even Jillian.

“I’m sorry you went through that.” Theo’s voice was rough as he watched the waves and the people in the water.

A tangle of emotions churned in my stomach that I couldn’t put a name to. I had been with Daryl for ten years. He’d taken care of everything. Heat, paperwork, money. I didn’t even know if I had money. Now I’d have to figure out all of that on my own.

“You’ll be fine, Mackenzie.” He squeezed my hand. “There are options.”

I took a deep breath, gathering my courage. “Would you… I mean, if you wanted… maybe we could help each other?”

Theo’s eyes went wide.

“Sorry, that was too forward,” I backpedaled. “Forget I…”

“I’d be honored,” he cut me off softly.

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