Page 13 of Why Cruise

I tapped my pen on the blank page.“Had I ever been that happy?”scrawled itself across the paper. Once. Maybe. At a Lunar Rift concert. Before he became a weapons-grade asshole and ruined my life.

A blond joined my brunette at her table. He cracked open a bottle of water and placed it next to her plate before sitting with his back to me. She shook herself and carefully arranged her face. Her smile wasn’t fake, more like she didn’t want to burden him.

If she was mine, she’d never have to… The plastic pen creaked as I practically squeezed the life out of it.

Breathing out slowly, I released my grip, flexing my fingers until I could gently set it down on top of my notebook. I should Google if tech withdrawal had physical side effects. If I had a fucking phone.

I snatched up my notebook. The chair made a screech across the tile as I stood. Before I realized what my feet were doing, I passed the omega and her companion, and breathed deep, like my whole body craved a hint of her scent. I staggered when her lush orange mingled with something nutty and rich. They weren’t blended like packmate scents, but complemented each other. I turned back to look at them.

The blond was an omega. He lifted his head. His smile was shocking, like I had just come home and he had been waiting for me. A blush crept across his face before he pulled his eyes back to the brunette.

I made it out onto the deck and pulled in a gulping breath. The salty air would clear my head. There were too many omegas on this damn boat, and I had enough variables spinning out of control without adding more to the equation.

Mackenzie

The scent of cinnamon and vanilla wafted up from my plate. French toast. My stomach growled, but my fingers trembled as I gripped the fork.

“Are you really going to eat that?”

Daryl’s voice echoed in my head, that soft disapproving tone he used when he wanted to guide me to better choices. His better choices.

Plain yogurt with berries. Egg white omelets. Steel-cut oats that tasted like cardboard. That’s what Daryl would want. French toast drowned in syrup and topped with a mountain of whipped cream? He’d be so mad he’d use his bark on accident.

I cut a corner and piled on so much whipped cream that the fork could barely hold it. The first bite melted on my tongue, sweet and rich and decadent. My eyes watered. Not from the taste, but from the panic clawing up my throat.

I was alone.

I didn’t have an alpha. I didn’t have a pack.

The buffet stretched across the dining room like an endless maze. Omelets made to order. Waffles and French toast with every topping imaginable. Fresh fruit. Pastries. Bacon. Sausage. How was I supposed to navigate all these options by myself? How did anyone make choices when there were so many possibilities?

Daryl had been my compass. He kept me away from bad decisions, kept me on track. Now I was adrift without him.

I forced myself to swallow another bite. It was delicious. But each mouthful felt like failure, like proof I couldn’t be trusted to make good choices on my own. The whipped cream turned sour on my tongue.

I stabbed another piece. This was ridiculous. I was a grown woman. I could eat whatever I wanted for breakfast.

“I told the steward we’re good with sharing the room.” Theo set a water bottle in front of me, his coconut scent instantly making me feel better. “We should probably head to orientation soon. But hydrate first. We’re both probably really dehydrated after…” His voice trailed off when he caught sight of my face. “Mackenzie?”

I quickly wiped away the tear tracking down my cheek and pulled out my well-practiced “Everything’s fine” smile.

Theo pulled out the chair across from me, the scraping sound making me flinch. But then his foot came to rest against mine under the table, and something inside me unclenched. His presence was so damn soothing.

“Hey.” His eyes sparkled with genuine concern, but not the kind I was used to. My alpha’s concern had always been about appearances, about what other people would think of his omega crying in public.My ex-alpha.I had to remember that part.

“I, uh…” I dabbed at my mouth with the napkin, buying time, trying to find the right words. “My alpha dumped me.” The words tumbled out before I could stop them. “He never letme eat French toast and now I’m eating French toast and…” I stopped, hearing how ridiculous it sounded. “Sorry. This sounds so stupid.”

“You’re used to orbiting around someone else, and now you feel like you’re spinning out of control.”

His words hit me like a punch to the chest. Yes. Exactly. That’s what this felt like, like I was an untethered satellite drifting further and further into space.

“It’s not stupid, Mackenzie.” Theo’s voice was soft but firm.

An alpha walked past our table, his woodsy scent making my nose twitch. I ducked my head and focused on my plate, holding my breath. I wasn’t ready for the onslaught of alpha pheromones yet.

But Theo’s scent filled the space. His foot stayed pressed against mine, grounding me.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” I whispered, twirling my fork through a puddle of syrup.

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