Page 77 of Accidental Vampire

“Right, can’t have the baby vamp eating the cabbie.”

Lachlan smiled and felt along a crack in the mason work. There was a click, and he pulled back a two-foot section of the wall. With a grand flourish, he made an “after you gesture.” I looked at the hole in the wall with reservation.

“There is nothing in there that can hurt you.”

I turned to him with my hands on my hips. “Are all vampires skinny?”

“Come again?”

“Look at the size of this opening. I’ll barely fit through.”

He looked between me and the wall, like he had a mental measuring tape.

“I’ve never actually thought about vampires being skinny or not. When most vampires were mortal, famine and food shortages were common.”

“How old are you?”

Lachlan was taken aback, like he’d never been asked that question.

“Do vampires not celebrate birthdays? Or Death Days or whatever?”

He stepped through the gap in the wall and held out a hand to pull me through. This tunnel was much more narrow, so much so that we had to walk single file.

“I’ve seen birthday parties in movies.”

“You’ve never had a birthday party?”

“No, it’s just not something we do. We don’t really do the Christian holidays either. Or the pagan ones. Few are that old to remember them. Tribute Day is the only yearly event.”

“Well, that’s going to have to change. I’m not living out eternity without Christmas.”

“Uh,” He turned and took my hand, “You’re Christian?” He asked nervously.

“Absolutely not. Way too much religious trauma. The church, historically speaking, is responsible for mass genocide and pretty much every bad thing can be traced back to Christianity. But Christmas cookies?” He looked at me dubiously. “The whole “holiday spirit” thing? Monique says the only reason I still like Christmas is because I never worked retail during the holidays.”

We started moving again. The space was tight and dark. I chattered to keep my mind off how weird this all was.

“So, you don’t know what year you were born?”

Lachlan stopped and turned to me in the tight space. There was just enough light to make out his features.

“I’m sorry. I’m asking too many questions.” There was obvious distress on his face.

“Time blindness is a real affliction for vampires. Days, when they are endless, just bleed together. A month can pass in a blink of an eye. We have a hard time placing ourselves into the passage of time and tend to mark things by major world events.”

“You had said that Warren lived a day’s ride from Manhattan, so you remember life before cars?”

He smiled. “Ah, the glory days when the streets of new York were full of horse shit.”

“Well, I’m just going to have to give you a birthday.”

“What would I need with a birthday?”

“Well, OK, sure, I guess you don’t need to commemorate getting older anymore, but birthdays are just an excuse for the people you love to celebrate you.”

I felt his anxiety skyrocket. It was in the pressure of his grip on my hand, the set of his shoulders as we slipped through the tight space, his silence. I rubbed my stomach as the tunnel narrowed a little and I had to turn sideways to get through. The space opened up into a small alcove where we could stand shoulder to shoulder.

He turned and arranged my clothes, straightened the borrowed jacket I was wearing. He ran his fingers thorough his hair. Finally, he settled on my face and kissed me. There was a desperation in that kiss. Not passion. Like my lips were the lucky charm he needed to get through a trial. He rested his forehead against mine.

---