Page 53 of Accidental Vampire

I paced in tight circles, tapping my face to cool it off. A billion different emotions were zinging through me, like a dog getting the zoomies. Dachshunds. A pack of Dachshunds. With the zoomies. Running everywhere at once, scrunching up the carpets and overturning furniture.

This was wrong. This was so very wrong. I have never been this turned on in my entire life. What was wrong with me? I didn’t even like these people and yet here I was, soaking my panties over Aurora’s clothes being ripped and Lachlan holding her down. Oh god, and then hearing her moans from the hallway. I had to get away, and this was the only place to be.

I snatched the tiny shopping bag Bisou had left for me, and hunkered down with my back against the wall. I cracked my neck to let off some of the tension and focus on something other than the throbbing between my legs. I banged my forehead with the heel of my hand to dislodge this irrational sense of jealousy that was zooming around like the manic runt of the Dachshund litter. Again.

Let me repeat for myself.I did not like these people.I absolutely did not want my gut all twisted up because I wasn’t the one being pinned to the ground. I was losing it.

I pulled out two hanks of sock yarn and a cascade of bamboo double-pointed needles tumbled out from the bag Yarn would make everything right. We got chatting about knitting when I mentioned how beautiful her Clapotis shawl was. It was a legendary pattern, highly recognizable, and almost everyone had made one at some point. Bisou was disgusted when I called it “retro”. “A twenty-year-old knitting pattern is not retro, you infant.” She stormed off but came back almost instantly with yarn as an apology. I’d take it.

I picked the blue one and read the ball band. It was just a superwash merino wool. Nothing terribly special, but it would do for quick socks. I untwisted the hank, and splayed it across my knees to keep it untangled while I balled it up. I had to improvise since I didn’t have a swift. I unspooled about a yard, held it with some light tension to start the ball. And it snapped. I pulled out another yard, and the yarn snapped again. I fanned my fingers through the strands on the hank looking for moth damage. Those terrors of the fiber world could cause havoc, wrecking skeins not stored properly. But it seemed fine. After the fourth snap, I realized it was me. And my super human strength. Super human? Were vampires even human anymore?

I had already broken a few glasses, and they promptly relegated me to plastic-ware only. Everyone laughed and said it took a while to get used to using a light touch on everything. That was the reason everything here was solid wood or metal. Richard joked that it took him a solid year to learn how to not snap wine glass stems.

Fuck that, I was not losing the ability to knit. I was going to master this if it killed me.

The next hour was torture as I slowly, gently, painstakingly unwound yarn from the hank and balled it up. I looked down at the pile of yarn scraps next to me. It was 50 or 60 yards worth easy. But I had managed a decent enough ball. I collected all the bamboo double points together and sorted them by size. I lined them up and counted, yep, a full set of 1s and 2s. No one would let me have a dumb phone. I’d be fine. I’ve knit dozens of pairs of socks. I would remember the important bits.

Gonzalez strode in to a chorus of “What the fuck, man”. He held out his arms and did a little turn to show off for his friends. I gasped and shot to my feet. His naked torso and back were crisscrossed with slashes of blood, like he fell into a tiger pit. No open wounds, though. Right. Vampire. Vampires heal. I had forgotten.

Aurora was not far behind him. She was down to a bra and men’s boxers. She began rifling through a battered antique trunk.

“Jesus Christ Gonzo. Again?”

“Richard. I ain’t proud. I’ll totally take his Highness’ sloppy seconds.” Gonzales said. Everyone called him Gonzo or Gonzales. I didn’t even know if he had a first name. “He did all the hard work. No foreplay necessary.” He swung a chair around to sit on backwards.

“Like Rory needs foreplay.” Zinnia said. Aurora chuckled, standing up with a blue sweatshirt in her hands. She sniffed it, gagged, and went back looking.

“You know, I fucked him once.” Richard said pensively.

“Liar.” Aurora said.

“No, no, really. OK, he didn’t fuck me, but he did bite me. Close enough.” Zinnia punched his shoulder.

Shaw rapped a stack of papers on the coffee table to straighten them out and leaned back, putting his feet up, totally uninterested in the conversation.

“It was during one of those parties the Mesmans used to do, you remember? The blue and gold theme?” He continued when no one responded. “Anyway, he bit me, and I swear I was out cold for three days. I had to spend the day in a janitor’s closet to get up the strength to make it back here.”

“Was that before or after all the Patrons threatened to name him a rogue?” Zinnia asked.

“Never happened,” said Shaw from over his papers.

“But Veronica did buy all the private ambulance companies then. He was drinking club kids dry, right? 2 plus 2 is 4.” Zinnia flashed her fingers to do the math in the air.

“That was Juliet, not Veronica.” Shaw said.

“Regardless…”

“Regardless,” Aurora cut off Zinnia, pulling on a zip up gray hoodie that must have passed her smell test, “He is the best bite in town and you should all be jealous.” She winked at me as she plopped down on the couch next to Richard.

Now I felt like a deer caught in headlights. I didn’t want to move and call attention to myself, but I felt awkward just standing here. I found some resolve and gathered up the knitting stuff and moved to one of the arm chairs that were across from the couch seating area.

“On some level, I’m sure we all want to fuck Lachlan. The man, the myth, the legend. Good thing he seems to want to fuck everyone else, too.” Gonzales said.

Except me. I covered my mouth in horror. If there was a god, and if she loved me, please let me not have said that out loud. I rubbed my stomach, the cramping was back.

“You are god damn rude.” Shaw pointed at Aurora without taking his eyes off the page.

“Why?” she asked. His silence held a “you know why”.

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