Page 96 of Paper Thin Love

Dash’s reply feels like a betrayal.“No.”

I grab my knife and fork.“It’s not up for discussion,” I assert as I slice into my pancake. I stab a bite, shoving it into my mouth; chewing and swallowing feel robotic. I taste nothing.

I glance at Dash; he looks at Dante, and then Dante nods.

What did that mean?

“You’re a distraction.” Cillian states as he chews.

Resting my elbows on the table, I reply,“Or a motivation.”

Dante smirks.

Dash’s exhale rumbles through my body like an avalanche.

“I’m coming,” I confidently state again.

***

I have the unfortunate experience of realizing a new form of torture.

Time.

It’s passed so slowly today that I feel like I’ve aged a decade. Finally, night fell, covering up the anticipation. You could almost hear the students’audible gasps of relief when the day was done and The Cleansing would begin. We all know it’s a bleeding wound; we just want the bandaid ripped off, to get it over with.

“Let’s shower,” I tell Dash as I close his bedroom door. In just two hours, he will be fighting for his life. Not every match in The Cleansing ends in death; statistically, though, many do. Claiming the title of killing a rival and having to face no repercussions is something most men in our world can’t pass up.

“It seems silly to shower when I’ll just be filthy,” Dash mutters coldly.

It feels like I’m speaking to a shell. I close the distance, grab his shoulders, and turn him. He looks directly over my head. I reach up and grasp his jaw.“Look at me.” I order him.

Nothing.

“Look at me,” my bottom lip trembles.

A wave of icy blue clashes into my soul as his eyes finally acknowledge me.“You never cared how dirty and broken I was. As a matter of fact, it’s what attracts you. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to something different, Dash King. I…” my throat closes, it’s a struggle to force it open again,“I love you no matter what. I don’t care how dirty our world makes you. I will always be there at the end of the day to wash it all away.”

Pupils dilate, perhaps glaze over with tears that are never shed.“Liar,” he whispers, low and hoarse. My ribs constrict painfully. It feels like a knife is being slowly plunged into his chest.“You’ll run the minute you see an escape.” He almost sounds hopeful. Do you want me to run?

A tear falls from my eyes.“Maybe you’ll run with me.” I reply as my throat closes.

Maybe I won’t run. Maybe all I needed was you.I’d stay because you have made this life not just bearable but worth living. I don’t want to run; I want you to teach me how to walk beside you.

Why can’t I tell him that? Something tells me I’m going to wish I did.

I grab his hand and interlace our fingers.“We’re going to shower, and then you’re going to make love to me, and then tomorrow,” I squeeze his fingers,“We will do it all again.”

His lip curls up, but it doesn’t reach his eyes; it’s like my words are a dream he sees, but then it quickly vanishes.

I don’t waste time. I want Dash to see thatI’llwash away his demons, not just the water. I start kissing him, trying to race against the water covering his skin. He stands there, unmoving at first, as I move my lips over his hard chest, lingering longer over his heart. Opening wide, I press my teeth over it, leaving my mark.

I tilt my head back, but once again, he looks straight ahead at the shower walls.“This ismyheart; it’s no longer just yours. It beats for both of us. You will fight to keep it alive.” I press another kiss to it.

His eyes close, and pain fills his brow.

I run my hands down his hips. His body has changed since we started this routine of cleansing each other in a different way than the school offers. His muscles are more contoured, like he’s a soldier ready for battle.

His arm reaches out as he grabs me. I purr in response. Thick veins rope around his forearms. I want to push his veins back in, deeper under his skin. I want to protect every inch, both exposed and hidden, of him.

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