Page 113 of Paper Thin Love

“Are you going to chase him forever? Watch him push and shove you away with his actions?”

I spin around.“I don’t need your help! Leave me alone.”

“You will be alone if you keep this up. Men like Dash will take the best of you; he’s like a tide. He will come in and sweep parts of you away. Day after day until you are eroded and nothing is left.” I can hear a haunting pain mixed with her words.

“So what should I do?” I hiss in annoyance as my eyes scan the forest for Dash.

Avery steps in front of me, grabs my chin, and tips my face up.“Become a storm. Make your own waves.” She releases me.“What you’re doing now is acting like a small wind battering impenetrable walls. It’s exhausting and deplorable. Try something else.” She crosses her arms.

I find my feet remaining still as my ears listen.

“Stop trying to break through his defense. Men like him don’t break. You’ll never get over his walls, either.”

Her words pin me under a painful truth.

Avery’s eyes light up the darkness.“But you can get under his walls, seep through his mind like water rushes into a crack. Slowly, those breaks will widen until you’re all he can think about again. Then the ball is in your court.” She smirks and steps back, holding my eyes for a moment, then turns and leaves.

I sink to my knees.

Avery is right.

The more I beg Dash, the easier it is for him to push me away. The same goes for all the men in my life. I need to become something else.

I need to find a way to get under their skin.

Dash said I didn’t have claws, I had poison. So I’ll use it. I’ll find my own way to survive until I see an escape. Then I will let my absence slowly sink into them like a venomous bite.

I don’t remember standing or walking back to the fighting pit. The spotlights are left on, shining on Jared’s dead body in a haunting manner. My head bobs from left to right.

I’m alone with Jared.

I feel as dead as him.

Sorry if that thought is an insult, Jared. It’s just how I honestly feel.

Then I’m in front of him, kneeling down until I find myself sitting next to him. Slowly, I reach out and grasp his hand. His skin already feels cold and hard. I look at his fingers, which used to hold me while I danced.

“You were a monster, too,” I whisper. My tears fall slower now because I’m becoming numb again.

“It seems I’m destined to be surrounded by people like you, Jared, yet somehow I keep surviving. I don’t want to turn into a villain in order to save myself, but this is real life, and heroes don’t always win.” I curl my knees up.“I don’t know what to do. I…don’t know. But I know I love Dash and that love will never die; it will just change to hate, then love, then hate again. I don’t know how to make it stop transforming.”

I exhale,“I’m sorry, Jared.” I slowly lower his hand back to the ground, and I wait for someone to come to collect his body.

I wait and wait. Eventually, the moon breaks through the peak of the trees, casting light into the pit. I scan the ground, and that’s when I see it: a pale-looking branch half covered in dirt. Standing, I find an urge to go to it. It is long with a slight curve and then a round knob on the end. Reaching down, I grasp it, realizing too late what it is.

I scream as I drop it to the ground and hurry back. It’s a bone. A human bone. I look back at Jared. That’s when it hits me: no one is coming for him. Not every family is proud to reclaim the dead body of the loser.

Jared is going to be left here to rot.

My hand clasps my mouth.

You just touched a human bone!

I drop my hand and feel the bile rising in my stomach as I bend over and retch.

It’s hard to survive in my world, to feel at all, but Dash made me feel, and although a part of me is numb again, there is a piece of me that can’t be frozen again. Turning, I go back to Jared; sinking to my knees, I begin. I allow all my feelings to control my body as I curl my hands into the dirt and begin to dig. That’s what I keep doing until the tips of my fingers are bloody. I keep digging because even a monster deserves redemption, and if a grave is all I can offer, Jared, that’s what I’ll do.

“Mila.” A deep voice sounds from behind me.“Mila, stop!” The voice grows louder, but I can’t stop.Shit, I’ve only made a dent.I glance at Jared. How am I going to dig a hole deep enough to put him in?

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