Titan inhales, his chest stretching wide as if he wants to be my shield.
I don’t want a shield. I want the bullets to hit me.
Make it stop!
The sound of the cogs as the coffin is lowered is a haunting reminder, like the eerie creaking of a long-abandoned windmill turning in the moonlit night. She’s gone. I don’t have a mother anymore.
My father steps forward, kneels, and hesitates before he grabs a fistful of dirt and then tosses it on the grave. Cold steel eyes lock onto me. An order for me to continue to perform my role as his son. Remain emotionless in the eyes of the masses. A prince can only cry behind closed doors, and when he grows into a king, he should have learned not to cry anymore. That’s what my father’s eyes tell me at this moment.
Suck it up.
My feet stand before the coffin now. I can feel Titan’s breath on my back. Bending down, I grab my fistful of dirt; it’s cold and damp, feeling more like quicksand.
If only it would swallow me.
My fingers curl into the cold, wet material as if I were squeezing a neck to death. My hand raises and hovers over the grave, but I can’t make my fingers uncurl. I can’t release dirt upon her grave.
I lick my lips and feel my blood boil as the silent crowd watches, pities me, judges me.
Lowering my fist, I keep the dirt clutched tight and pocket it in my trouser pocket.Fuck this!
The heavy exhale that sounds like a growl from my father tells me I disappointed him.
Good.
How about a word to me, then? One word would do, father.
I rub the dirt into my nails, embedding it under my nail bed, forever marking this day in my memory.
I raise my chin to my father. You don’t want me to cry.
I won’t.
You want a prince who will replace you as a more ruthless king.
You’ll get one.
Unlike you, Father, I won’t give my heart away fully. I will never feel this kind of pain. Love isn’t worth it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to have fun, run the world like Lucifer himself, fuck my way through the masses, expand the family business.
But love?
No, I will never love a woman as my father loved my mother.
Chapter 2
Dash
Beep…beep…beep.
What the fuck is that annoying sound? I sure as shit didn’t set an alarm.
Beep…beep…beep.
I reach out to swat whatever object is making that incessant sound, but the movement makes me groan instead.
“He’s waking up.”