Nyanna, Shana, and Dan have the decency to not meet my eyes. The three of them stare at the table, shifting uncomfortably. Julia, the other member of the Council does meet my glare. Her and Ziva freaking David, which who the hell knew that the socialite actually had a brain to match the size of her tits.
“Ava you can understand why we didn’t make this broadly known,” Ziva says.
The Zmaj, so damn many of them, watch with cool interest. Everyone on that side of the table has a mate. Well everyone except Dan. Poor Dan, maybe you should find a Zmaj to mate with too.
“You don’t know…” I trail off, not wanting to say it. Not wanting to put the words out because with them the memories of the attack will flood back and now is not the time.
“No,” Ziva agrees. “I don’t. I can’t possibly know.”
I focus my glare on her. She’s not supposed to agree. She’s supposed to argue. Give me something to attach my anger to. Some opponent I can shout down. Not this.
A muscle in my jaw ticks as I struggle for words, my hands curling into fists against the cool surface of the table.
I can feel Zamis at my side. He hasn’t touched me, hasn’t said a word, but his presence is there. Solid, steady, a quiet force against the storm raging inside me. I want to lean into it, into him, but I can’t. Not here. Not now.
“So you’re telling me,” I say, forcing my voice to an even tone, “that when the jungle survivors joined up with us, they told you that Gaius Gutier—the same bureaucratic asshole who was making all the big decisions on the ship, the same man who sat in judgment over who got what rations, who lived, who died—thathewas out here, alive,working with the enemy… and you didn’t think I needed to know?”
No one answers. I laugh, short and bitter, shaking my head.
“Were you ever going to tell me? Or was I supposed to just stumble across him on the battlefield, like I did today?”
Ziva’s lips press into a thin line.
“We didn’t have proof he was working with the Order, or to what extent. We knew he had survived. We debated telling you, Ava, but what good would it have done? You were already focused on surviving, on leading. What would it have changed?”
Everything. It would have changedeverything.
Zamis shifts, his tail brushing against my ankle, and it’s the only thing keeping me from snapping. A quiet, subtle grounding. Julia exhales sharply.
“Look, we didn’t keep it from you to be cruel. We didn’t want to shake your focus. You’ve been leading people, keeping them alive, and we?—”
“You what?” I cut in. “Didn’t trust me? Thought I’d fall apart? You?Amara?”
I use the name I knew her by after the crash. The fighter pilot she was pretending to be until for whatever reason she decided to come clean that she was really only a vagrant. Julia’s cheeks color and she looks away. The Zmaj at her side growls, but I don’t care. Nyanna finally looks up, guilt shadowing her face.
“We thought it would hurt you,” Nyanna says.
That hits me in a way I wasn’t expecting. A hush settles over the room.
Zamis steps closer, just enough that I can sense him at my side, warm and unwavering.
“They made a mistake.” His voice is a low, measured rumble.
The bluntness of it startles the Council more than my shouting did.
“We were trying to protect her,” Dan says, frowning.
Zamis tilts his head slightly, considering.
“No. You were trying to protect yourselves. You did not want to bear the weight of what it would do to her.”
His words land like a stone dropped in still water, rippling outward. He’s right. I exhale, long and slow, dragging a hand through my hair. The anger is still there, simmering under my skin, but the edge of it has dulled.
“Fine,” I say. “It’s done. You can’t undo it. But don’t ever do it again.”
A silent agreement passes between us, unspoken but understood. I turn to leave, and Zamis falls into step beside me without hesitation.
Outside, the night breeze is cooling against my overheated skin. I walk fast, needing distance, needing air, needing— I stop abruptly, turning to face him.