The man shakes his head then nods, clearly unsure what to say or do. I suppress a laugh both because it’s wildly inappropriate and because I’m too tired to let it go.
“Uhm, yeah. Of course.”
The man leaves. Despite the pressing crowd of bodies around us, it feels as if Zamis and I are the only ones here. His presence fills more space than his admittedly large body. I sip the water, as much from thirst as for a way to avoid eye contact.
“You need sleep,” he says.
“I’m fine,” I say, absently, looking over the last remnants of my race.
Haggard. Tired. Worn. Unprepared. All words that define what I see. Worse, what I feel.
“Ava,” he says, his voice deep and insistent, demanding my attention. I dart a glance in his direction, but the moment our eyes meet I’m trapped. I can’t look away. “It will begin soon. Sleep.” I open my mouth to protest, but before I can, he speaks again. “Please.”
I snap my mouth shut, blinking.
“Yeah,” I say. “You’re probably right.”
He nods, takes my hand and leads me through the rows of bunks, about half of which aren’t even built yet. He finds one against a wall that hasn’t been claimed. He pulls the rough blanket down, runs his hand over the thin mattress grumbling.
“It will have to do,” he mutters, looking over his shoulder at me.
He steps to one side and gestures towards it. I hesitate, feeling uncomfortable and uncertain. I clench my teeth then force myself to relax. Zamis stands silent and patient. Waiting without judging or pushing.
“What, you’re going to tuck me in?” I scoff at last.
“If you will allow me too,” he says, tilting his head to one side. “Then I will watch over you while you rest.”
“Watch over me?”
“Yes,” he agrees.
“Are you nuts? You need sleep too. The battle is coming. I don’t think I could sleep if I wanted to. How am I supposed to sleep knowing that those bastards, your formerbrothersare coming?”
He frowns, dropping his eyes.
“You are right,” he admits. “Many are the mistakes I have made. Regret is an empty ache in my soul, but I cannot change the past Ava. I can do something about the now and the future. I promise you this. I will not let them take you. As long as I have breath, you will be free.”
My eyes burn long before I realize that I have forgotten to blink. He doesn’t look up from the floor, as if he’s trying to glare his way through it. My heart is racing and my breath catches on every exhale.
“What are you saying?” I whisper.
“You know,” he murmurs. “In your heart. You know the same as I do.”
I blink, trying to ease the pressure building behind my eyes. Somehow my heart manages to beat even faster. It can’t possibly keep this pace. I open my mouth and my jaw clicks painfully. Words won’t come, but in the swirling silence of my head there is the racing beat of my heart. That rhythm carries the message. And though I try to deny it, I can’t. I know what it’s saying.
“Zamis—” I step forward, under his bowed head, looking up into his eyes, pressing my hand onto his chest. It’s cool to the touch but the echoed thundering of his hearts thump hard against my touch. “I… hear you.”
He covers my hand with his. The world narrows and all the voices fade until there is only the two of us. His hearts slow toa more sedate rhythm as we stand, silent, but together. I don’t need him. I can be absolutely fine on my own. But having him here, with me, this. This is… nice. Better than nice.
Because he’s right. I do know. In my heart. No matter that I don’t want to admit it, even to myself.
11
AVA
“Ava. It is time.”
I snap my eyes open and sit straight up. Adrenaline pumping, hands curling into fists as I jump off the bunk and land in a semi-crouch, looking quickly around. Zamis steps out of my way, hands raised in front himself with his palms out.