Page 64 of Orc's Pretend Mate

I gesture for her to sit. She puts her back to the wall and lowers herself. I sit in front of her, close enough that our knees are touching. She leans forward, staring at that point of contact.

“You wished to talk?” I prod, trying to make my voice at least sound gentle.

It’s not that I do not care. Of course I do. I wouldn’t be hurt or angry if I didn’t care. But I am hurt. I shouldn’t be. Betrayalhas become so commonplace among the Urr’ki that it would not have come as the slightest of surprises from anyone else, but her. This hurts more than I know how to handle.

“Yeah…” she says, not looking up. “It’s true, Vapas. I was… was sent to the Urr’ki.”

“Huh,” I grunt when she doesn’t continue.

This is not news. It was established when she didn’t deny what Virodah said. If this is all she has to say then there is no point to this conversation. I wait a moment for her to continue but she says nothing. I shake my head and put my hands down, pushing myself back up.

“No, wait,” she says, dropping the blanket to put her hands on my knees. “Please. Wait.”

I pause half-way up. She locks her eyes onto mine. Anger and hurt push me to move, walk away. Staying will only bring more pain. I have had more than enough pain, losing my dragoste the first time was more than I ever thought I could stand. Losing Phoebe, the idea of her even, no. I do not need this pain.

“No,” I growl. “We need to go.”

I move to standing and offer her my hand.

“Vapas, please,” she says, not taking my hand or moving. “All I ask is a chance. A chance to explain.”

Anger burns like fire in my veins. Flaring with every beating of my heart. Throbbing in my head and through my thoughts. She betrayed me. She lied to me. She is not who I thought she was. How did I ever think she was my dragoste returned? What kind of fool have I been?

“Then do so,” I say, harsher than I should. “But we are not safe, so make it quick.”

Staring at her soft, pale face and the glistening of her eyes eases the pain in my heart. I cannot be mean, not to her. Slowly, I lower myself to sit back in front of her. Her breath trembles and she nods.

“It was… a mission… we were supposed to… the idea was…”

“Phoebe,” I say. Getting my own hurt and anger under control, I gently place my hands on her thighs and stop her after she keeps restarting trying to say what she wants. “Take a breath. Gather yourself.”

She rapidly blinks several times then slowly nods. She closes her eyes, inhales deeply, and holds it. When she lets it out in a long, slow, slightly trembling breath she opens her eyes and a faint smile dances over her lips. Her sweet, soft, delightful lips.

“Thanks,” she whispers, doing it one more time and then she seems to be better. “It was never supposed to hurt you. I would have told you. I swear it.”

The sincerity of her words carries with them, in the tone of her voice, the depth of her fear. Together they drive a knife into my chest, boring into my heart. A lump forms in my throat, making it harder to breathe.

“I… believe you.”

Her eyes widen, the first drops of moisture falling from her eyes. She nods, biting her lower lip. She puts her hands onto mine where they rest on her thighs.

“We… we humans… our leader, her name is Rosalind, she wants to forge an alliance with the Urr’ki.”

“With us?” She nods enthusiastically. “How? What does she know of Urr’ki?”

“There are some of your people living in the Zmaj compound,” she says. “A few of them, I don’t know how many. They’ve been telling Rosalind and the Zmaj Al’fa about what is happening. I guess, I don’t know. We were briefed but I don’t think they told us everything.”

My head is reeling. Urr’ki are living among the Zmaj? The lizards? Our ancient enemy has accepted some of my kind into their compound? It should be impossible.

“How?” I ask, not really meaning the question for her but it slips from my mouth.

“I don’t know,” she says shrugging.

None of this… this isn’t the way it is. Our war with the Zmaj has cost us everything. There is no road to peace with them. No hope for a future left in this world. The only reason my people have fallen under the Shaman’s sway is because we were already giving up.

What point is there in continuing when all the future could offer was loss, pain, and an impending doom? On his platform of promises of bringing destruction to our enemies the Shaman rose to power. It cannot all be a lie. Our war with the Zmaj predates him by far. The tale of it is on all of our mudrosti.

“It cannot be,” I say, shaking my head in denial. “The liz—Zmaj are the enemy. They have always been the enemy. We, the Urr’ki, are the First Born of Tajss, it’s rightful inheritors before they came from the stars and usurped our place.”

---