Page 55 of Orc's Pretend Mate

The words feel inadequate, but they're all I have. His expression darkens and something in his eyes makes my heart stutter. It’s not just anger or fear. There's a tenderness that makes this moment almost unbearable.

“We cannot stay here.”

“I know,” I agree.

Vapas' chains rattle as he shifts.

“Phoebe, did they… were you at any of the…”

“The rallies?” I ask.

“With the Infernal machine?” he asks.

“Yes,” I say, the horror of what I saw then making me nauseous now. “Why? Why did he build such an awful thing? Why do your people go along with the Maulavi doing that to them?”

“To awaken the Paluga.”

“I heard the word,” I say. “But I don’t know what that means.”

Vapas shifts, making his chains clatter.

“It is… a part of our beliefs. A god of destruction. The Shaman promises that it will help us win the war with the Zmaj. That it will burn this world and usher in the next.” His eyes meet mine, filled with desperate intensity. There's something else there too, a guilt that makes my stomach twist. “The machine is part of the ritual. The Shaman has led everyone to believe that we must sacrifice enough to awaken it.”

Understanding comes unbidden and having it, it’s definitely unwanted. They’re going to sacrifice him.

“No.” The word comes out as barely more than a breath. I lean closer, not caring about the guards. “No, I won't let them?—”

One of the guards barks something harsh in Urr'ki. I fall silent, but press myself to the bars, closer to Vapas. His chains clink as he shifts himself closer. The familiar warmth of him comes through the bars. I listen to his breath, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. It grounds me even as terror threatens to overwhelm.

We sit in silence for a long moment, listening to the steady drip of water somewhere in the darkness. Finally, Vapas speaks so quietly I barely hear him.

“Whatever happens, whatever they do to me, stay alive. Promise me.”

His voice breaks slightly on the last word, and that small crack in his composure nearly undoes me.

I want to argue, to tell him nothing is going to happen to him. But the words stick in my throat. Instead, I lean my head against the bars, partially touching his shoulder.

“Only if you promise the same,” I whisper.

I try to put everything I can't say into those words. How much I need him, how the thought of losing him tears me apart inside, how somehow this pretend relationship, this ‘fake’ dragoste claim has become real. How he has become my whole world.

His chest rises and falls with a deep breath. The silence stretches between us, heavy with all the things we haven't said, all the moments we might never get. When he doesn't answer,something inside me breaks a little. I turn my face to the side, breathing in his scent, searing this moment in my memory. His chains rattle softly as he shifts to press himself to the bars.

In the shadows of our cell, with death looming over us, I realize with perfect clarity that I love him. The timing is horrible, maybe even cruel, but there it is. And I might never get the chance to show him.

34

PHOEBE

The drip of water is the only mark of time passing. I've been counting the drops, trying to guess how long we've been here. My wrists are raw from testing the ropes, searching for any weakness. Across the bars, Vapas hasn't moved, but I know he's not sleeping. His breathing isn't deep enough, and every now and then his chains clink as he shifts position.

Exhaustion lies heavy on me. I’m struggling to stay awake. My eyes drift closed now and again, then I startle back awake. You’d think the fear would be enough to keep sleep at bay, but I’m more numb than anything.

“Vapas,” I whisper.

“Dragoste?”

My heart speeds up at the word and warmth spreads over my chest.

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