Page 37 of Orc's Pretend Mate

Stupid. Too stupid to live for all that’s holy. What am I thinking? We’re both in extreme danger and that is what I should be focused on. Not how the light of the candles casts beautiful shadows on his deep green skin. The way his muscles bunch and flex with even the slightest of movements. The exotic scent he exudes, almost a sandalwood, but not quite. A little more earthy, but still pleasant.

“You are sure?” he asks and I can’t speak because my throat is clenching tight as I fight desire, so I nod. He grimaces and watches my face as if trying to be sure himself before continuing. “The resistance is a rumor. I’ve heard of them but I do not know if it is real or not.”

“How would you find out?”

He shakes his head growling.

“It would be dangerous,” he says. “I’ll have to ask but if I ask the wrong person, I’ll be reported to the Maulavi. If that happens…”

He trails off and there is no need for him to finish the thought. We both know the results of that without having to put that horror into words.

“Do we have a choice?” I whisper.

“If there is one, I don’t know what it is.”

“Oh,” I say, nodding. “Well. When your back’s against the wall and all.”

“What wall?” he asks.

“Oh,” I hesitate, having to take a moment to wrap my head around him not knowing the idiom. Of course he doesn’t. It’s not a Zmaj phrase nor an Urr’ki one. “It, uhm, means, you know if you don’t have any choice. You are pushed into a corner and have to fight your way out.”

He nods. “Very wise. Back against the wall. This is very true.”

The way he says it, his manner and attitude, make it seem much deeper and wiser than I had ever given it credit for and it makes my chest swell with emotions too big to be contained.

He smiles and I could almost swear that my heart tries to leap out of my chest and into his hands. It’s all too much to wrap my head around. These feelings, the way he makes my heart speed up, everything. What is happening?

“Uh,” I say, but then I have nothing to follow it up with.

Almost, I said something I’m nowhere near ready to say but I caught it just in time. It was right there on the tip of my tongue. Ready to burst into the world in a flaming blaze of glory.

“I do not want to take you with me,” he says.

“Vapas, I?—”

“Wait, please,” he says, holding up his hand to cut me off. “But, I also do not want to leave you here alone. If the Maulavi were to return…”

“Yes,” I agree instantly without letting him finish the thought.

“Good, you will come with me, but,” he holds up one finger, “You must agree.”

“Agree?”

“Yes, agree. This is too dangerous. You must listen to what I say and obey without question or hesitation. No matter what.”

My heart is in my throat. My thoughts do some kind of weird dual vision split between fear of the danger and desire for him to take control of me and make me obey his every whim and desire.

I can’t speak around the lump. Trembling, I nod my agreement.

I am his. Good or bad, this is happening.

23

VAPAS

We need to talk about what happened, but I can’t. The Maulavi are a much bigger threat and we are running out of time.

So many things she does remind me of my lost love. When she brought the mugs and drink, everything about it was exactly how my dragoste was. If I was worrying and stressed it’s what she would have done, down to the look on her face as she offered me the drink.

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