Page 36 of Orc's Pretend Mate

“Oh,” I say, not able to hide the disappointment in my voice.

He’s retreating, from what I don’t know, but it’s clear to me that’s what’s happening. Seeing it, knowing it, and having nothing I can do about it causes a deep aching in my heart.My breath catches as pressure builds in my eyes. I look away. Feeling him pull back causes uncertainty to batter my thoughts and leaves me feeling insecure.

“I swore to protect you,” he whispers.

Struggling not to cry, even though I’m not sure why, I can’t look at him. Instead, I stare at the kitchen. I rub my temples with my thumb and forefinger, trying to find some relief.

“Yeah…” I say unsure what to do or say.

I thought… I wanted… stupid.

I’m an idiot. I thought he was different, but he isn’t. Not really. He’s a man, driven by his basest needs, ready to take what he wants. He puts a pretty veneer over it and, sure, he tries to control himself, but in the end, it’s all about one thing. A tear breaks free.

“I have heard rumors,” he continues. Forcing the dark thoughts away, I shift so I can look at him again. He continues intensely staring at the floor. “If they are true… the risk will be great. But…”

I wait, hanging onto his last word, but he doesn’t continue. He’s so tense that it’s rolling off of him in waves. If nothing else it pushes away the dark thoughts and brings me into the moment.

Yeah Phoebs, don’t forget you’re in mortal danger. Literally, not figuratively.

“What are the rumors?” I ask.

My throat is so dry that it’s hard to get the words out. I work my mouth, trying to force moisture into it, but it seems to be in vain. My throat is dry and scratchy. Instead of waiting for him toanswer, I stand up and go into the kitchen. I feel his eyes on me, curious and maybe more?

“Go ahead,” I call from the kitchen.

I retrieve two mugs and the jug of alcohol. There aren’t a lot of choices of drink. We may be underground, but water is still precious on Tajss and not something that even the Urr’ki or Cavern Zmaj use for regular drinking. I gather my finds up and carry them into the living space, setting them on the small table.

Vapas watches as I remove the cork and pour two fingers into each mug. I replace the cork and set the bottle down. When I go to take up my mug, he hasn’t moved, he’s just sitting and staring at the mugs.

“What?” I ask.

He frowns, his brow furrowing. When he does that his tusks rub against the skin of his cheeks, pulling in towards his nose. Why I notice this I have no idea nor do I get why it’s cute and attractive.

Maybe, thanks to all the stress, I’ve lost my mind. I chuckle and Vapas darts a glance over, his frown coloring with worry. He looks from the mugs to me again and then silently takes his. He swirls the liquid then tosses the entire drink back at once. He smacks his lips before pouring a second.

“Thank you,” he says.

“The rumors?” I prod.

His frown is back in an instant. He swirls the mug, staring into it, before looking back.

“An underground… resistance I think it would be called.”

“Oh?” I ask, leaning closer.

He blinks rapidly and his breath speeds up, cluing me into what I just did. I hadn’t thought about it but it now I am acutely aware of him. His presence, his scent, his closeness.

“Yes…” he says trailing off, his eyes boring into mine.

My body is reacting to him, hard. Skin tingling, heart and breath speeding up. My mouth is so dry. I lean back and take a sip but it burns so bad going down that I choke on it. At least this time I don’t spray him, but it forces me to turn my head and break the intensity of this moment.

“So—rr—ry,” I get out, holding up a finger between us.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I say, coughing a couple more times before getting myself under control. “Fine. Sorry.”

He smiles, shaking his head. His mouth opens but then something crosses his face and he closes it. He closes his eyes. I resist, with all that I am, the urge to lean in and kiss him.

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