All except Justine, my junior assistant. She’s the only one who seemed to listen.

When I’m cool, I turn up the heat, lather up, and wash off.

Can’t even be bothered to jerk off to whatever comes up on my Pornlib-suggested vids on the wall mounted touchscreen in the shower.

What a sorry state of affairs.

I’m toweling off when an email pops up.

Westside Medical

Dear Mr. Kernos,

The results of your blood test and echocardiogram have been returned to the practice. Please make an appointment at your next convenience to discuss them with your doctor.

I frown. I hate the way they do this. Why not simply put the results in the email? I don’t want to go sit in an office with a sympathetic doctor who will try to break the bad news to me gently. It’s awkward. Having to deal with other people’s worry is awkward.

I wish I didn’t know there’s a chance I have a genetic heart condition.

I sure as hell wish I hadn’t found out the way I did.

With a sigh, I flick open a message to Asha.

Ronan: clear me some time for a medical appointment this week, would you? If I send you through the notice, can you book it for me?

I set aside my phone, then pull a frozen meal from the freezer because I gave my personal chef, Anna, the night off. Then a notification makes me check it.

Asha: I can certainly do that when I get back from leave. Or I’ll have Justine do it for you tomorrow

I frown. I don’t want the whole world knowing about my medical worries. Especially not the junior assistant who was snooping through my computer today. It can wait until Asha gets back. Another week won’t hurt.

Ronan: no. Just do it when you get back. Thanks

Asha: will do. Hope everything is OK.

I snort. Sure. Everything’s fine. I might keel over at any time without warning, just like my father. No need to burden her with it, though.

I don’t bother with a response. It’s not like Asha to push.

I toss aside my phone and try to concentrate on reading the summary Ms. Delany prepared for me today. When I can’t do that, I give up and get into bed early. Sometimes I don’t knowwhy I’m so worried about dying early. Not like I do much with my life anyway.

Ms. Delany looks disarmingly disheveled when the car stops to collect her from the address she has on file. She stifles a huge yawn and almost drops the bundle of files she’s carrying.

I hide my laugh as she climbs into the car beside me.

“Good morning.”

“Morning.” Another little yawn. She shifts the papers about on her lap, trying to stuff the loose ones into folders.

“I take it you’re not a morning person, Ms. Delany.”

She looks around at me with wide eyes. “Oh, ah, sorry. Did I miss something already? I’m sorry. I’m really not.”

I snort. “You’re not going to be much good to me if you’re not on your toes this morning. This isn’t going to be an easy meeting.”

“It isn’t?” She looks crestfallen.

Can’t blame her. I’m not looking forward to it, either. “No. They’ve called an additional meeting this month, which means they’re annoyed about something. Most likely the way the share price and dividends have dropped month on month for the last six months, as you’ll see in those documents.”