Page 40 of Used By the Unicorn

Jade

I don’t know what I expected when I pictured what it would be like to birth an actual person out of my vajayjay. Whatever I pictured, it wasn’t this. Sapphy is so beautiful. I can’t stop watching the way she holds Bliss. The way she just seems to know what she’s doing.

How the fuck am I supposed to do that?

“You’ll be great,” Stirling whispers against my ear.

I shake my head, torn between irritation that he reads me so well and gratitude that he always knows what to say.

Sapphy looks around. “Do you want to hold her?”

I stare. Me?

I’m about to answer, but my phone rings and I snap. I struggle out of Stirling’s lap and lift the phone to my ear. “Listen, whatever you’re selling. Whoever you are, I’m not interested—”

“Mrs. Howell?”

I have the sudden urge to spit out the bitter taste in my mouth. “That’s not my name anymore.”

I try to move away from the herd. I don’t want them to see this. Or hear it. I’ve been putting it off, but I’ve got twenty missed calls on my phone. I’ll have to go home eventually. I have a bad feeling when I do, there’s going to be a nasty surprise waiting for me. Once again, I’ve used Stirling to avoid my own shit.

Stirling’s hand on my shoulder makes me want to turn and melt into him. Instead, I shrug him off and instantly regret it when my chest gets so tight I can hardly speak.

“We need to talk about the fifteen thousand dollars you owe to Greenwoode Finances, ma’am,” says the voice on the other end of the phone. “When would be a good time?”

“Excuse me, what?”

“The fifteen thousand dollars, ma’am. To Greenwoode Finances. Well, fifteen thousand seven hundred and sixty-three to be precise.”

I curse. I have never heard of Greenwoode Finances before. I’ve been avoiding calls from another debt collection company, sure. And there’s the money I owe to the bank. All of it was never mine to begin with, just a last little parting gift from my ex in the divorce.

Is it possible he’s somehow used my name to borrow even more?

“This is a formal notice to let you know that we will be re-possessing the property at Tramore Lane within the next twenty four hours if you can’t provide evidence of a recent repayment.”

“What!?” I actually lift the phone away from my ear for a moment. Staring at it does nothing to make this any less real. My ears buzz with a metallic vibration. “You can’t—”

The guy on the other end of the call is saying something else, but I can’t listen. Can they do that? Go through all my shit? What if they take everything?

Hanging up the phone, I turn to Stirling. “I have to go.” I’ve gotta get there first. I don’t even know how I’ll act if I’m there when the debt collectors turn up. But I hate the thought of them going into my place if I’m not there.

“What is it?” Stirling sounds so calm. So reasonable.

I hesitate. I should really say goodbye. Proper goodbye. I owe him more than a sneaky exit. I hated doing that last time and I won’t do it again.

But how do I tell him I can’t see him again?

I let myself get attached. I let him believe. Hell, I let myself believe for a moment.

Then the hard cold reality of my ex’s debt smacked me in the face once more. I can’t saddle the herd with that. With me.

“I have to go,” I say again shakily.

“I’ll take you.”

He’s already searching for the keys.

“Sapphy needs you here.”

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