Page 81 of Lovingly Restored

“That’s not in my control, Ashlyn.”

I throw my arms out wide. “Then you shouldn’t have promised it,” I whisper-scream. Iknowthat Isaac isn’t responsible for his father’s actions. That’s not why I’m mad. “You should have informed me. I don’t need your protection. I want your honesty. I’m well aware I’m not a member of this family–”

“Ash, don’t say that.” He tries to take both my hands in his, but I slip out of his grasp.

I sniffle, “Well, I’m not. I know I’m not a member of this family, but you should have kept me in the loop. It doesn’t need to be you versus your father all the time. Coming to me when you found out about this might have allowed us to take it on together. I’m friends with people at so many assisted living facilities. Maybe I could have…” I shake my head, “Maybe I could have found her a closer spot? I would have liked the chance to try.”

I keep my eyes cast down as I grab my weekend bag from the closet.

“No, Ash, what are you doing?”

The quiver in his deep voice physically hurts me. A few changes of clothes is all I need. I can send Anna to collect everything else. Tears blur my vision as I walk out of the room and reach the living room.

“Jesus, where are you going?”

“Home. My real home.“ I barely recognize my raw voice.

He weaves his hands through his hair and holds them there on his head.

“I screwed up, Isaac. Some of this is my fault. I’m not too stubborn to admit that.”

“No, Ash. You didn’t do anything. You’re perfect. I–”

I hold up my hand, afraid what words he might say in an attempt to get me to stay. I close my eyes, still avoiding his gaze. “It wasn’t my intention to get this close.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“Yes, you do,” I whisper.

The muscles in his jaw twitch. “So, we’re closer than ever, and your reaction is to push me away?”

“Don’t put this on me. You chose to keep secrets. I can’t stay, Isaac.”

“Not even for Mummo?”

“Mrs. Lauri is important to me.”

His jaw goes tight. “Mrs. Lauri?Give it a rest. You haven’t called her that in weeks.”

It takes every ounce of energy I have left to keep my voice calm and reasonable. “It sounds like I’m out of a job, Isaac. What would you have me do?”

The longer we stand here and hash things out, the more painful this break up, or whatever it is, will be.

“You could fucking look at me for a start!”

“No!” I sob, no longer able to keep the burning hot tears back.

“If you can’t even afford me that respect, then it’s best you go.”

I’m not avoiding looking at him out of a lack of respect. It’s pure self-preservation. If I see the wounded expression on his face, I’ll crumble and stay. As I hang the house keys on the hook by the front door, I hear his heavy footfalls behind me.

I hold a hand out to stave him off. “The whole thing was my mistake. When you moved in, I should have known this wouldn’t work. I let a…a crush get in the way of my work. I’m sorry.”

I accidentally look up, and I’m hooked by the intensity of his eyes. I was wrong. I don’t see hurt or sadness there. He holds his chin high, nostrils flaring. He’spissed.

“Don’t be sorry, Ashlyn. I’m not.” When he continues, his voice is as cold as the winter rain the night we met, “We were both here anyway. Easy access, you know?”

I splutter but can’t form any words. My heart pounds and the edges of the room blur. For the first time that day, a fresh wave of tears does not accompany my emotions. Hot fury takes over as my dry eyes narrow at the equally angry man in front of me. I couldn’t be more shocked if he shoved me out the door with two hands. And that reminds me why I’m standing at the threshold of the house that accidentally became my home. I don’t have to stay and listen to this shit. I wrench open the solid door and cross the threshold, leaving it open behind me. Providing him the smallest opportunity to come after me and make it right. To at least make sure the last thing he says to me isn’t a bald-faced lie.

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