Page 147 of Finding Hope

“I never asked you to move in with me.”

“No.” Shaking her head, she tucks loose hair behind her ears. “You didn’t.”

“I never asked you to marry me, either.”

“We were just babies. We were doing our thing, and we were doing it at the exact right speed for us.”

“I’m so sorry, Steph.”

She squeezes my arm. “I have no regrets. None at all. I had a good life.”

“I’m going to ask Bambie to marry me.”

She smiles so genuinely, I feel the lock on my heart release. Guilt and betrayal, hesitation and heartbreak, it all disintegrates. “That’s really good. I think that’s a great idea.”

“I love her so much.”

“I know.”

“It’s different to how I loved you.”

She continues to smile. “I know that, too. We were just kids. We had akid’s love. We never had the regular daily struggles regular couples do. We didn’t have to struggle for anything at all. Everything came so easily to us.” Turning, she takes my forearms in her hands. “It’s okay that we lived and loved in our bubble, Jack. We’ll always have those years to think back on. We’ll always have that bubble of perfection, but don’t judge your future relationships on us. Ours was different to the norm.”

“Yeah… I know.”

“She might give you trouble, she’s got more spunk than I did.”

Laughing, almost crying, I try to swallow down the lump in my throat.

“I loved you so much, Jack. I just wanted to hold on to you. I would’ve done anything for you,beenanything, dressed any way you wanted me. You never gave me reason to doubt, but I was insecure, anyway. I had spunk deep inside me, but I never let you see it. I didn’t want to make waves.”

“You shouldn’t have done that, Steph. You should’ve made me work for it.”

She shrugs easily. “It doesn’t matter anymore. But Brittany… she has spunk.”

“Yeah. She does.”

“So when she doesn’t make life easy on you, don’t compare her to me. She’s just keeping it real. I gave you the fairytale, because I was young and naïve and energetic enough to keep it up. But that’s not real. Britt’s your real now.”

“Yeah, she is.”

“You’ll be happy with her. She seems nice.”

“She is nice. She’s beautiful and funny. She’s brave and adventurous.”

“Hold on to her, okay? Hold on to her with both hands and don’t let her tell you she wants out. She won’t mean it.”

I frown. “Is she looking for an out?”

“This is your dream,” she laughs. “I don’t know the answers. I’m just telling you what you already know.”

“Are you okay with me marrying her?”

“Yeah,” she smiles. “I really am. You’re happy.”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t let that go.”

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