Page 109 of Finding Hope

And with a gentle smile, she helps me release the balloon into the universe so it can go off to meet her daughter.

Exactly twelve months after Steph died, I introduce her and her mom to Britt.

Britt winds her arm around my hip. “How do you feel?”

Like maybe you were sent here to save my life.

“Better.”

Smiling, she presses a kiss to the ball of my shoulder. “Good. Wanna dance with me?”

I nod and ride the emotional slide that is new love and old grief. They mix within me, swirling colors that transform into something new and beautiful.

Britt skips away to turn her car stereo up, then sauntering back like the sex kitten she is, I take her against my chest and breathe her in.

“Don’t be a stranger, son.” I look up and nod as Steph’s dad squeezes my shoulder.

“Thank you for today,” Marian says. “Both of you. Thank you for inviting us, Brittany.” Soft tears sit on her lashes as she squeezes Britt’s hand. “This meant a lot to me. Instead of sitting at home and crying tonight, I got to spend time with family. It’s been a long year without her, but tonight you gave me a chance to speak with her again.”

The couple and their son walk away and climb back into their car, then the Rollers corral their children and tuck everyone into their car seats.

They were here as support. They were here for me. But now I have Britt, so they can go home and not worry anymore.

I hold Britt’s soft body against mine and dwarf her with my size.

I feel like a god.

A god that will protect her with everything I am for the rest of my days.

Holding her hip and pulling her tight against my body, I breathe her in and sway to the music floating on the breeze. Her face rests against my chest, her lips pressing gentle kisses to my heart. Her hair sits below my nose, tickling and fragrant; with her in my arms, in the dark, in the silence except for the soft music in the air, I hold on and thank Steph for the second chance I was given at life.

We dance for a long time. We dance even when the sky opens up and a light sprinkle of rain coats our hair and shoulders. It’s not enough to soak us, but enough to shroud us in our own world, our own bubble of… us.

We dance until we slump in each other’s arms, then we drive home and make love, slowly, quietly, peacefully.

Tomorrow, we start a brand-new year.

A year that’s hopefully better than the last.

24

BRITT

I SHOULD TELL YOU…

Walking into my kitchen, I smile when I find X sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and an ugly scowl. “Morning Brat, I missed you last night.”

He missed me, because I got in late,like usual,and snuck up to my room,like usual.I was with Jack,like usual,at his sister’s house while we ate shit, talked shit, and picked on each other.

I walk up behind X’s chair and press a kiss to the top of his shaggy brown hair. “Morning, cranky.”

We have a pop quiz coming up in class today, and with the manners of a baboon, Evie basically demanded I help her study. She doesn’t do well with weakness, and this particular math problem is her weakness; thus, the baboon manners.

Some may consider my help favoritism, and well, it kind of is. It’s not like I give one-on-one tutoring to all my students, but then again, I don’t particularly care.

I like the kid, and she works hard. Shewantsto learn. I won’t ever tell her no when she asks for clarification on something we learn in class.

Jack and I have been seeing each other for a while now. It’s been a month since we danced in the rain.

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