Page 25 of Finding Hope

Probably the second.

Today was supposed to be my fight.

I should’ve been defending my title, but instead, I just handed it back. Literally,here you go, motherfuckers.

A decade of keeping it in our gym, and I just give it back.

Just another bullet point on my list of ‘Jack is a big fat fucking disappointment.’

I disappoint my family.

I disappoint myself.

I ruin everything.

“No.” Swaying, I bump into the guy next to me. “I’m staying. But you gotta get me another drink before I sober up. Quick now, fairy! Chop, chop!”

“No.” Her angry eyes sparkle. “My job is to serve alcoholresponsibly. Giving you more is just stupid.”

“No. Yourjobis to take your ass home, cook dinner for my brother, and change shitty diapers so he doesn’t have to do it. But since youinsiston being a fuckin’ feminist, get me a damn drink!”

When her lips purse dangerously, I know Jon’s fist will make contact with my face tomorrow morning.

Time to keep drinking. Numb tomorrow’s pain, too.

“I’m calling you a cab.” Lifting her hand, Tink looks over my shoulder and flags a bouncer.

I scoff with arrogance. No one’s gonna move me until I’m ready to move. “I’m not going, Tink. I need another drink.”

Leaning forward with gentle eyes, her hand presses over mine. “I’m asking you to go home, Jack. I’m begging you. Don’t you care that you hurt us? That you hurt Kit? You need to go home, sleep it off, then find theoldJack again.”

“No. Old Jack died on the side of a highway, but I happen to think the new me is pretty fucking cool.” Turning, I zero in onher. “What I need is to get laid. Change of plans; call the cab. I’m ready for bed.”

“I know you miss her, okay? Iknowyou do. We all do, but you can’t keep killing yourself like this. You have to take care of yourself, Jack. Because when you hurt yourself, you hurt Kit. That’s not okay.”

“Whatever.” Stepping away from the bar, I slip to the side as the bouncer gets a little confident. I don’t wanna call my sister for bail money tonight. I don’t wanna break her heart…more.“Call a cab, Tink. I’ll wait for it out front.”

Walking across the dancefloor and moving toward the edge of the club, I stop behind the group of girls that make up every man’s wet dream, wrap my arms around Bambie’s stomach, and press my chest to her back.

Surprised by my touch, she jumps in my arms, but spinning with a sly grin, she presses her chest against mine and studies my eyes.

She’s just as pretty as I remember.

I’ve been watching her all night; she’s been dancing for me, with hardly any clothes, just the perfect amount to show off sexy ribs, amazing ink, and the back dimples I’ve maybe been searching for in every girl since the last time I saw her.

If I was her man, she wouldn’t be shaking her ass in a club while dressed like this.

But I’m not her man.

Ducking my head low, I slide my tongue along her plump lips andsmile at the strawberries on her breath. Just like last time. Dipping inside her delectable mouth, I swallow her sigh and pull her hips close until she’s pressed against my erection.

Lifting her arms and wrapping them around my shoulders, we dance and kiss like we’re really together and not a couple strangers in the night.

Sliding my fingertips along her naked ribs, counting each one, then along the sides of her tits, I nibble on her lips and slide my thumbs over her puckered nipples.

I freeze.

Her breath bursts out on an excited exhale.

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