Page 214 of Finding Hope

Emotions cross his face. Rejection. Anger. Pain. Regret. Like a scratched disk, my mind freezes on the rejection and has my heart stuttering with pain.

I can’t handle more rejection. “Jack–”

“I’m so sorry for what I did to us.” Moving closer to the door, his eyes flash with pain. “I’m so fucking sorry, Bambie.

Sniffling, I pat his hand. “It’s okay. You already apologized at the hospital. We’re good.”

“We’re good.”He laughs bitterly. Shaking his head, he studies the road beneath my car.

“Can I tell you something, Jack?”

His desperate eyes come to mine. “Yes. Tell me anything.”

“You told Steph that you loved her.” I watch the way his brows pull together in an attempt to make sense of my words. “The morning after you got home from your promo tour. I ah…” I trail off and curse the heat that crosses my face. “I was giving you that blowjob I promised. You said her name in your sleep. You said you loved her.”

“Jesus, Bambie.”

“That’s why I freaked out on you. That’s why this shit started. A few days before that, there were all those articles about me and Steph competing for your love, so I was already sensitive. Then you said her name, you said you loved her. It hurt. I knew…” I pause to breathe, because I’m about two seconds from breaking down and sobbing for the millionth time this month.

I just need to say what needs to be said, then I need to move on.

“It’s not about competing. I can’t compete with her. I don’t want to. I don’t ever want to be compared to her again. I just want to be me.”

“I love you, Bambie.”

My eyes widen in shock. “What?”

“I loveyou.” He grins. “And Inevercompare you to her. You’re two different people. Two completely separate, amazing, beautiful women. I don’t compare. I can’t. You’re absolutely nothing alike.”

I wipe my boogers like a fool. “I’m sorry for being dumb. I’m sorry for getting caught up in a one-sided competition. I fell in love with you, then I panicked and started our spiral.” I point between us. “Andthisis where we landed.Destination fucked.It’s all my fault for being insecure and dumb.”

“You fell in love?”

My eyes lift to his. “Yeah. I said I wouldn’t bethatgirl. I said I wouldn’t get clingy and annoying, but I did. I was so clingy, I wanted to cuff you to my bed, butnotin the sexy way.”

I’m such an idiot.I’d slap myself if I could do it without looking even crazier.

Hesitantly peeking from beneath my lashes, I find his beautiful dimple flashing.

“I thought you were so blasé about us, Bambie. I was getting all insecure and clingy and shit because I thoughtyoudidn’t care about me the way I cared about you.”

“So really… we’re both idiots who don’t know how to communicate?”

He nods softly. “Looks like it.”

“I’m sorry I broke us.”

He shakes his head, but his smile remains. “No, Bambie. No apologies. No more.” Standing, he steps away and sends my heart stuttering with pain.

He’s done now. He’s leaving.

But he doesn’t.

Opening my door, he leans in so close, if I simply leaned forward a couple inches, I could kiss his cheek. I so desperately want to. I so desperately wish I had that freedom.

Unsnapping my belt and turning my ignition off, he takes my good hand and gently pulls me out of my car.

Screw kissing his cheek. Now if I just leaned forward a single inch, I could rest my face on his chest.

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