Page 164 of Finding Hope

“Both, I guess.”

“Britt–”

“We have a date tomorrow night, though. I’ll stop hiding then.”

He huffs out a grumbled breath. “As much as I don’t want that fucker in my house, maybe you guys should have your date here. In privacy.Notout in public.”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “I would’ve preferred that, too, but he already mentioned dressing up for a restaurant.”

“I don’t like this, honey. I just… I’d feel better if you weren’t in the public eye with him.”

“I guess we knew it was coming, right? He’sJack Reilly,and he has a title fight coming up. We knew the media would be all over this.”

“Just because we knew it was coming, doesn’t mean I have to like it.” Turning back to the TV, he stares at the screen, but he probably sees nothing. I get the feeling he’s mentally planning my security for the next week.

I can’t even say that I think he’s wrong. I don’t want to be in public, either.

But it’s already done.

I get no choice, so copying my brother, I turn back to the TV and pretend to watch Roseanne repeats.

I eat until I want to explode, and drink until a pleasant buzz races through my blood. I’m tired, but too anxious to sleep. Leaning against X’s shoulder, I wait until he – predictably – throws his arm over my shoulder, and I snuggle in.

Alex may be a giant pain in the ass, but he loves me unconditionally. Even when he disagrees with my choices. Even when I date guys he doesn’t like.

No matter what he says, what he does, who he hurts, no matter how annoying it seems, everything he does, he does with my best interests at heart. Maybe if I’d let him keep talking that time at dinner, Jack and I wouldn’t have continued along this path to destruction.

It would’ve hurt to walk way, but there’s no way in hell it could hurt as much as it does now.

Eyes growing heavy, I refuse to fall asleep. Instead, I hug my big brother and chuckle at the TV. We’ve watched every single Roseanne episode there ever was, but it’s still funny. It’s so much easier to sink intotheirlife, than it is to live my own.

My phone vibrates against my leg and has Alex’s eyes coming down to mine. I bite my tongue to stop my chin from wobbling.

Don’t make me cry, Jack. I don’t want to cry anymore.

Laying a kiss on my hair, Alex squeezes me against his chest. “Just ignore it for tonight, Brat. Relax. Sleep.”

I nod and hope he doesn’t look down as a tear slides along my cheek.

After a full minute, my phone falls silent and allows me reprieve to rest against my brother, but a minute later, it starts again.

Ignore.

A minute after that, it starts again.

“Fuck, Britt. That boy needs to cool his shit.”

“Mmhmm.” I wipe my eye with my shirt, just in time, as Alex sits up and reaches for my phone. “Alex, don’t–”

“Answer it, or turn it off.”

I take my phone to find eleven missed calls, twice as many texts, and about a billion Facebook notifications. Three texts are from Jack, but there are also some from the group chat.

“Maybe I should call the girls, we could go out for a bit.”

“Don’t be dumb. Going out to dance and drink to ignore your problems is how people get arrested.”

I scoff. “You wouldn’t arrest me, X.”

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