Page 15 of Reckless

Hannah

OnSundayafternoon,Iwas seeing Lucas and Clem off at the airport. She was in a bad mood. Tyler never took her out for coffee like he promised.

“I had to ask him over the phone. And you can imagine how that went.”

Lucas and I exchanged looks, then he slid a hand over Clem’s shoulders and kissed her hair. My heart melted. I wanted what they had so much.

“Yes, I can imagine how that went,” I said. “I thought it would be a challenge to persuade him in person too though. A camping trip? Not exactly Tyler’s style.”

I couldn’t picture Tyler Hartley out in the wild. When he was in high school? Sure. Sitting around a bonfire, drunk and with a girl in his lap. But the man he had become? Not a chance. He looked so in sync with himself behind that bar counter the first night I saw him. With his black dress shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He enjoyed the noise, the crowds, the girls.

“Can you picture it?” I asked both Clem and Lucas. “Tyler sharing a tent with the guys? Walking around in the woods? I think the silence alone will make him lose his mind.” I tried to make a joke, but apparently Clem wasn’t in the right spirit.

“I want him to bond with Lucas before the baby is born.”

“It’s fine, babe,” Lucas joined the conversation. “We don’t have to bond.”

“I know you don’thaveto. But I wanted him to make an effort. I don’t know what I was thinking. I know him well enough to know you can’t count on him for anything.”

“Is it that important for you?” I asked.

“Yes. I want my child to have an uncle.” Her voice cracked.

I didn’t have it in me to tell her that Troy, Lucas’s sixteen-year-old brother, was probably going to be better at that job than her twenty-seven-year-old one.

I looked at Lucas and made him a sign with my head to beat it. He rolled his eyes but left us alone.

“What’s bothering you?” I asked her. “And don’t give me the crap answer that pregnant women are emotional or that it’s just hormones.”

“You know me too well,” Clem squeezed my hand with a sad smile on her face.

“Is everything okay between you and Lucas?”

“Of course. He’s the best.”

“What is it then?”

Her gaze found her fiancé. He was leaning against a wall, arms crossed over his chest, looking at us with concern in his eyes.

“I’m worried. I don’t know if I can be a good mother. Lucas will be the best father in the whole world. So, I guess he will compensate.”

“It’s totally normal to be worried. I’m sure every future mother goes through that.”

“Yeah. But not every future mother hated her own mother like I did. What do I know about having a healthy relationship with your children? What if I can’t bond with my child, just like my mother couldn’t bond with me?”

“Oh, Clem,” I dragged her in my arms. “I know you take some weird satisfaction in comparing yourself with Sylvia, but believe me. You are not your mother. Sure, you have some of her in you, but you will never be the kind of a mother she was to you.”

Lucas approached us. Apparently, the time he could spend away from her while she was upset was limited. She leaned on him and the tension in her body subsided.

Watching them, I couldn’t help but think about Nick and me. We were a good fit, but we never shared a connection like that. Maybe we needed to spend more time together.

I shot him a text.

Clem is leaving. Do you want to come over tonight?

He didn’t usually reply right away, but this time he did.

I’m free now. I don’t have to be in the hospital until tomorrow morning.

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