Page 57 of Reckless

“Listen,” he touched my elbow. “About what happened at the engagement party.” My blood ran cold. He was doing this now? I couldn’t deal with this now. “I saw how you reacted.”

“How did I react?” I pretended I had no idea what he was talking about. He saw right through it.

“Don’t do that.” His face was serious but his tone was gentle. “You didn’t have a healthy, grown-up reaction. It’s been years. I thought you got over it.” I closed my mouth shut and tried to suppress the anger building up inside me. “You have to let it go.”

He wasn’t wrong about that. I hadn’t forgotten about my almost breakdown at the engagement party, but it was overshadowed by Tyler’s behavior afterwards. It wasn’t just about the kiss. He helped me. Stayed with me until I felt better.

I shook my head, chasing away the image of Tyler leaning over me while I sat on that bathroom counter, and answered my father.

“I’m fine. It just surprised me.”

“You are not a good liar, Hannah.”

“See? I told you I could never be a lawyer.” Dad closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. I exhaled loudly. “I have to go. I will call you when I land.” I meant I would call mom and we both knew it, but he didn’t say anything.

“We will talk about this,” he warned me. “When you come for the wedding.”

I wanted to ask him why he didn’t talk about it for the past three days, while we were both under the same roof, but I bit my tongue and smiled.

“Sure,” I stood on the tips of my toes and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Love you,” I said and I meant it. I just hated his job and the way it reflected on our family.

“I love you too, kid. Lawyer or not.”

“I know, Dad.”

Ten hours later I was finally home. Although after spending so much time in California, my apartment didn’t feel like home. Not quite. The fact that I was about to kill my relationship only intensified the feeling. All I had in Boston was my job now. Yes, I liked it and yes, I had friends. Colleagues actually. But when you looked at the entire picture, I only had my job and that apartment. For a twenty-four-year old, that was quite depressing. Tyler was right. I had zero fun.

Later that evening, Nick and I stood at the door. I was on the inside. He was on the outside. It turned out that breaking up with him was easy and painless. I wondered why none of us suggested it sooner. The moment I told him I thought we should stop seeing each other, pure relief took over his entire body. It was obvious our relationship wasn’t working for him either. He didn’t even get mad when I told him I kissed Tyler.

Curiosity had always been my weak spot, so I couldn’t help but ask.

“I know why I was holding on to the relationship, but I have no idea why you did it.” His eyes widened. He didn’t want to answer to that, but I kept on waiting.

“Do you really want to know?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t want you to hate me. This is the cleanest break up I ever had. I would like to keep it that way.”

“I’ll go first then,” I said. “We were good on paper. I thought I had to make it work, but I was never in love with you.” He leaned a shoulder on the door frame and nodded with an impressed look on his face.

“I stayed for the sex. I thought I would start loving you at some point. It just never happened. And you know my schedule. I don’t really have time to date.”

“Yes. That is quite sad actually. You have to do something about it.”

“I will.”

He looked me up and down with a questioning look on his face.

“What?” I asked.

“Maybe we could see each other from time to time.”

“Thank you for the offer,” I grabbed the door handle signaling him it was time to leave. “But I think that was what we were doing this whole time, so I will pass.”

“Call me if you change your mind.”

“Don’t hold your breath,” I said with a smile and closed the door in his face. I took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of newfound freedom. No more midnight booty calls. I could finally live on my own schedule.

My light-hearted existence lasted just a day. On Tuesday morning, Madison called me.

“Tell me about the bachelorette party.”

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