Page 16 of Whisper Woods

I just want more… something. I just don’t know what that something is.

It’s an itch I can’t seem to scratch. It’s infecting every part of my life. Work, the pack… all of it. I don’t know what to do about it.

“Well, that was brutal. Like, it physically hurt to watch. When you said that you were going to start dating, I never knew you were going to be so awful at it. Like,look at you, how is that even possible?” I groan loudly, turning it into a playful whimper as my head hits the table.

Seldon, another old acquaintance turned new friend in the aftermath ofeverything drops delicately into the now vacant seat. There is a ruffle of clothing as he settles in, crossing his legs and leaning forward on his elbow on the table expectantly, his chin resting on his hand.

His eyes watch me slyly as I sit up again, my leg bouncing under the table. Bright yellow eyes, pupils slightly larger than normal due to his fox shifter status, watch me intently as he slowly turns my date’s abandoned coffee cup.

There it is, scrawled in black permanent marker in the server's large messy writing.Alex.

It was right there if only I hadn’t been too caught up in my own shit to notice. I cringe back into my seat, bringing my hands up to cup the back of my head into my elbows.

“Gods, this is fucked.” My arms muffle my words.

Seldon huffs sympathetically, his foot kicking my calf gently under the table.

“What’s going on big guy, why are you pushing this so hard?”

I drop my arms from my face and fidget with my coffee, the chunks of ice having melted it into a watery, unappealing mess.

“I don’t know man. I just feel… it’s time you know? Time to stop fucking around or something.”

“Is this because of Caelan? Are you still hung up on him?”

My eyes narrow at him of their own volition, his words cutting too close to my own recent thoughts.

“No.” My voice is firm, because it’s the truth. “I’m not still hung up on him, it’s been like, forever. I guess seeing him with Tor… part of me always thought maybe Caelan and I would find our way back together. But it’s more…”

I can’t find the words for myself, so I don’t even know how to explain it to Seldon.

“You want that for yourself? Not him, but what he has?”

Needing to do something with the energy building up in me, I take a sip of my drink, instantly regretting it.

“Yes! That. Kind of.” Pushing the drink to the other side of the small table out of reach, I fidget with a sugar packet on the table instead. Seldon waits patiently, sipping at his drink. “Do you ever feel trapped? Like you can see your whole lifelaid out in front of you forever and it feels like you can’t breathe?”

Fuck. Really didn’t mean to just drop that one on him. Seldon obviously didn’t expect it either, his hand holding his drink freezes halfway between his lips and the table. Needing to expel the energy brewing inside of me, I drum out a quick beat on the table and roll my shoulders. It’s nowhere near enough.

“Seff, I went from being a timid dork in ugly sweaters, to the fabulous being you see in front of you.” Seldon’s head tips to the side while he studies me. “I understand the need for a bit of a change in how you do things. But, real talk, how is a mate going to change that? Isn’t that just following the path they set out for you?”

Out of all my friends, Seldon is probably the most understanding of wolf shifter dynamics. Foxes have different things going on, but it’s similar enough that he understands the expectations. Duty. Family. Pack. It’s practically branded behind your eyes at birth.

“Ugh, you’re right. Maybe I just need to leave it. Stop trying to date, stop sleeping around… just be on my own or something.” Across from me Seldon gasps dramatically, cupping his hand to his ear.

“Did you hear that?'' There is laughter in his voice, and I frown at him questioningly. I didn’t hear anything. But then he clutches his chest dramatically, his voice breathless with contained laughter. “It’s the sound of a thousand gay men's hearts breaking. Seff off the market for good!” He collapses into a fit of giggles at his own joke and I throw the now mutilated sugar packet at him. It bounces off his vibrant red hair onto the floor.

“You’re a dick. This is serious.” The severity of my admonishment is seriously diminished by my own smothered laughter.

“Yes Seff, your dick getting a break from having randoms salivating over it every ten minutes certainly is serious.”

I give him a look, letting the mask slip for just a moment. He sobers, but only a bit and pats my hand on the table.

“Sorry Seff. I was only teasing.”

I smile tightly to let him know there are no hard feelings.

“Maybe a break would be a good thing. You’ve been off lately. Not yourusual,” he waves his hand around at me, “you.”

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