Page 19 of Undone

I walked down the long hallway, memorizing the bright white speckled tiles along the way. I heard low cursing and banging as I rounded the corner and found Dorian’s head resting against the vending machine glass. He raised his hand and pounded again on it.

“Could anything else. Fucking. Go. Wrong?” he shouted, punctuating each word with a bang of his fist. Until the bag of chips finally fell to the bottom.

I paused for a moment, watching him, before I gently cleared my throat to make my presence known.

Dorian peered over at me, quickly trying to mask his emotions, but his bloodshot eyes and puffy face gave him away. Slowly, he bent down, pressing the small door to the vending machine open to grab the chips.

“You okay?” I asked, as I took cautious steps toward him.

He squeezed his eyes shut, dragging a hand down his face before exhaling sharply. “Yeah… I’m fine,” he muttered, though the tension in his jaw told me otherwise.

“Dorian…” I started, my voice trailing off.

His shoulders sagged, as if the world was pressing down on him. “What do you want, Noah?” he snipped, and the tone in his voice stung more than I cared to admit.

I don’t have time for this.

I walked past him toward the machine and fumbled with my spare change.

“Nothing. I’m getting your sister a coffee.”

There was a long exhale from behind me, followed by his voice—softer now. “Fuck, I snapped at you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I curtly replied, pushing the coins in and listening to the jingle as they dropped. I grabbed a cup, putting it in place before I pressed the button.

“No, it’s not. You didn’t deserve that,” he said. Though I couldn’t see his face, his voice dripped with guilt.

I turned then, catching his gaze. “You’re right. I didn’t.” I said, as the coffee started sputtering.

He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut again, and pinched the space between his brows. “It’s just… I’m on edge. My best friend, basically my brother, is in there with a bullet in his chest he got protecting my sister. I can’t wrap my head around it, but that doesn’t mean I should’ve snapped at you. I’m just… scared.”

“Me too,” I murmured as I fed more change into the machine for a second cup.

He sighed. “I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do right now. Every time I try to think it through… my heads’ fucked right now.”

I took the coffees from under the spout, and, turning around, I spotted a small seating area nearby. I glanced at him and gestured to the chairs.

“Let’s sit,” I said, handing him his cup.

He gave a small, tired nod before turning and heading toward the chairs. I followed, setting the other cup down, and sat across from him. I didn’t rush him to speak, letting the silence stretch out as I waited.

“When you called me…” He let out a long exhale. “I knew something was wrong. I kept trying to tell myself it was nothing,” he said, staring down at his hands, fingers twitching restlessly. His jaw clenched, then he released another breath, more tense than the last. “But I knew.”

“I did, too.”

“I need to be there for her, for Trent, but I can’t sit in that damn waiting room, wondering when the next piece of bad news will hit.”

I instinctively reached over to grab his hand, and his fingers curled around mine. “No one expects you to have it all together right now. It’s okay to feel like this, to be lost in it all. You’re allowed to be angry, to be confused, and to not know how to process it.”

He stared at me, his gaze drifting over me before he pulled back, letting his head fall against the back of the chair. “I’m her brother, her twin,” he muttered, barely audible. “I should’ve been there to protect her. I’m supposed to have her back, but I let her down. I let all of this happen.”

I frowned, shaking my head. “You can’t blame yourself for some guy stalking your sister, or for Trent getting shot. This is not on you, Dorian.”

His gaze snapped to mine at the sound of his name. His throat bobbed before he pressed a hand to his forehead.

There was a weariness etched into his features, and something in the rawness of it all made him almost beautiful.

“But it somehow feels like it’s my fault.” He sighed. “I sound fucking crazy.”

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