Page 49 of Undone

I wanted to reach for her, to take some of the weight off her shoulders. But I wasn’t sure if she’d let me or if I’d be able to let her go once I did.

A bird’s call snapped her out of her trance. She dropped her arms, but her eyes stayed fixed on the horizon. Her posture was rigid, but then, in a subtle move, her pinky brushed against mine. And that slight touch was both a question and an answer, an unspoken plea that neither of us was ready to address.

“You okay?”

She didn’t answer right away. Instead, she rotated the rings on her fingers, lost in some thought.

“Sometimes,” she said finally, her voice so quiet it almost didn’t reach me, “I wonder if I’ll ever escape this. If it’ll ever really be behind me.”

“You will.”

“I let him into my life, into my home.” Her voice cracked, her words trembling. “I didn’t see it. I didn’t see him for what he really was.”

“It’s not your fault,” I said. My hand moved instinctively, brushing a stray curl from her face. Her skin was warm against my fingertips.

She flinched slightly, but didn’t move away.

“Noah, you can’t punish yourself for what he did,” I said gently. “He fooled everyone, not just you.”

For a second, I thought she might believe me. Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.

It was impossible not to notice the way her mouth moved, the subtle twitch of her lips, the way she drew in a breath like she was steadying herself. I felt myself leaning closer without realizing it, drawn to her in a way that defied logic.

“You can’t keep blaming yourself,” I said, my voice firmer now. Reaching out, I linked her fingers through mine and squeezed gently. “You’re the victim here, Noah.”

Her lips quivered as she shook her head. “No, I’mnot,” she said, pulling her hand from mine. “The victims are the women he murdered. The ones who lost their lives. Their families—the mothers, children, husbands, wives. They suffered. Not me.” Her words came faster now, tinged with anger and guilt. “I was barely a step away from being complicit.”

“He was a master manipulator. He built lies so perfectly crafted you never had a chance to see through them. This isn’t your fault. None of it is.”

Her breath hitched. “But what if you’re wrong? What if I missed something? What if?—”

“Noah, stop.” I cut her off, spinning her gently to face me and tilting her chin up so her eyes met mine. “He’s the monster, not you.”

She stared at me for a long moment and then nodded. But the fear in her eyes didn’t fade. It was still there, lurking beneath the surface, a constant reminder of the hell she’d been through.

“I don’t understand this. I don’t understand why he did this or how he did this or if I could have stopped it. I don’t understand how a boy I met at fifteen, charming and smart, liked me, then decided to grow into a man who is capable of all this.” Her arms flung out to her sides, but I let my thumb trace idle circles along her cheek.

“You know, someone really smart once told me,you’re allowed to be angry, to be confused, and to not know how to process it.It’s okay not to have it all figured out right now.”

“I just… feel like I’m too broken to fix now,” she whispered.

“You’re not broken. You’re stronger than you think, Noah. Stronger than anyone I’ve ever known.”

Her gaze dropped briefly to my mouth, and at first, I thought I might have imagined it when she met my eyes again.

I could see the way her jaw tightened, like she was fighting with herself. But then it happened again, lingering this time. Her eyes darted back up to meet mine, wide and uncertain, but she didn’t pull away.

Instead, she bit her bottom lip—just a small, nervous tug—and my chest tightened.

And fuck, I wanted to kiss her.

To kiss her and tell her it would all be okay. That somehow, I’d make sure she came out of this safe, and he ended up behind bars where he belonged.

But we were playing with fire, both of us.

I could see it in her eyes—not only fear of John, but fear of this, of us. And she wasn’t the only one who was scared. That fear twisted in me too, an ache I couldn’t ignore. I was terrified of what would happen if I gave in, if I let myself feel everything I’d been trying so hard to bury.

I couldn’t risk it.

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