Page 68 of Unbearable

“How is mercury the answer to my problem?” I asked.

“Not that.” She scrunched her nose. “I mean, a couple of months ago, you told meyour lifewas in Seattle. Do you even realize what you just said?” she asked.

“I said my life was in Seattle.”

“No, you didn’t. You said yourjobis in Seattle. ThatIam in Seattle. I’ll shut up right now if you tell me that you actually want to come back to the city, but if I wasn’t here and neither was your job, would you come back to Seattle?”

I let my head fall to the desk.

“Mhm, that’s what I thought.” She laughed. “Babe, I love you. You are quite literally my favorite human on this planet, but you can’t let me hold you back from what you want. I know there’s the technicality of your job, and I know you love your job, but you also can’t let that dictateyour life. Woodstone Falls is a small town, but I bet they’d have some type of opportunity for you.”

I lifted my head and saw Noah’s green eyes and brown skin looking through the screen. My eyes welled up, battling the emotions of what she was saying.

I was adamant about wanting to return to Seattle, but she was right. The more time I spent in Woodstone, the more it felt like home.

But moving back here would never be in the cards for me. I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my career for small-town life, nor should I have to. And she was right. There probably were some opportunities for me in Woodstone, but none to the extent that living in the city could provide me.

She continued, “I’ve seen you come alive over the last couple of months. You are finally starting to break free of the front you put on for the world.” She sighed. “And as much as I want you to get with the damn cowboy and live happily ever after, it isn’t just him. It’s that town. It’s your family. Sit on that for a bit.”

I groaned again. “I will.”

TWENTY-FOUR

Dotty

LIFT ME UP - RIHANNA

The following few weeks,I threw myself into work, taking on additional projects and helping my colleagues who were overwhelmed to keep busy. While I loved the work, I knew my current work-life balance was merely a distraction. I needed the excuse to keep my mind busy and ensure I had very little free time to spend around Trent. Between work and the cabin, I was stretching myself thin but had successfully managed to avoid Trent almost entirely. We exchanged pleasantries and had small conversations, but nothing more.

Though he had respected my boundaries, he wasn’t hiding his feelings either. He was always doing small thoughtful things for me, while allowing me my distance. He would pick up my favorite coffee order from Woodstone Perks and leave it on the kitchen counter or make dinner and leave it out when returning from the cabin with Colt or Dorian. He figured out the exact number of ice cubes I liked in my water and made sure to refill it and leave it out for me before he left for the ranch every morning.

It almost made me forget why I was staying away.

His thoughtful gestures chipped away at the walls I was doing my best to reinforce. Each act of kindness only deepened the ongoing conflict in my head.

As I stepped into the ranch house, I felt a nostalgic sense of home. My dad rounded the corner from the kitchen, coming into view.

“Hey, Dotty. It’s good to see you.”

“Hi, Dad.” I gave him a hug. We walked into the kitchen and sat down at the dining table.

Over the last few months, I had spent some amount of time at the ranch house with my dad, but guilt gnawed at me that it wasn’t as much as I should have. My dad and I had a good relationship, and I was a daddy’s girl growing up, even if it was by default.

He always managed to fill the gaps from being the only parent, and in the few areas he fell short, my Gram and Grandpa stepped up. I knew he was always there for me when I needed him. When I was in Seattle, we talked daily in our family text chat, and I made sure to call him every weekend.

“How is work going?” he asked.

“It’s good. I’ve been really busy, but I feel like I’m more productive working from home because I don’t have all my coworkers coming by my desk and talking to me all day. I do miss going into the office, but it’s nice being able to work from here.”

He smiled at me. “That’s good. I’m glad it worked out for the time being. How is everything else? You seem much lighter the last couple of months.”

The weight of his words settled deep in my gut. Being back in Woodstone brought back a sense of peace I hadn’t realized I was missing, despite having someone securely track my every move. But being here had also reopened old wounds and memories I had spent years trying to bury.

I sighed, annoyed that both my dad and Noah had come to the same conclusion about my time in Woodstone. “It’s good. I do love it here…” I paused. “But my job is in Seattle. I’ll be going back soon, but I do want to come back to visit more often than once a decade. But it’s complicated…” I said.

He nodded, his eyes filled with empathy. “I know. Life has a way of throwing us curveballs when we least expect it. I’m glad to have you home for however long you are here.” He smiled at me.

Sinking into the chair at the kitchen table, I let my head rest on the cool wood. “I’m stuck in this limbo right now. I’m torn between two worlds, and I love them both.” My fingers found my necklace, which I traced back and forth along the chain. “I love my job, and I’m not willing to give that up to stay here. I love Seattle, but I think it has only become my home because of my career and Noah, honestly.” I lifted my head to meet his stare.

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