Page 70 of Unbearable

“And don’t even get me started on Trent.” I let out a sad chuckle. “Part of me wants to explore what we could be, but the other part of me is too scared. Scared of losing a friend, scared of getting hurt, scared of letting someone in, especially him.”

I sat there for what felt like hours, pouring my heart out to the silent stone, hoping for a sign, a feeling, anything to guide me.

Eventually, I stood up, feeling a strange sense of calm. I placed a kiss on my fingertips and pressed them to the headstone. “Thanks, Mom. I promise I won’t let another ten years ago by without seeing you.”

With one final glance at the grave, I turned and walked back toward the cemetery gates, the path ahead still uncertain but my heart a little lighter. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I felt my mother’s presence with me, a silent guardian, as I navigated the crossroads of my life.

TWENTY-FIVE

Dotty

PINK SKIES - ZACH BRYAN

After leaving the cemetery,I decided to spend the rest of the day working on the cabin, needing a distraction and a way to clear my head. We had made good headway on the cabin, and it was slowly starting to come together. As the day drew to a close, I knew it was time to head back, shower, and settle in for the evening.

“Hey, stranger,” Trent greeted me as I walked through the front door.

“Hi,” I replied.

“You done avoiding me yet?” he teased, raising an eyebrow at me.

“I’m not avoiding you.” My voice betrayed me, rising an octave.

He scoffed, unconvinced. “Mhm, and I like mint chocolate chip ice cream.”

“I knew you didn’t like it.” I narrowed my eyes at him.

“You got me. How about a movie?” He walked over and sat on the couch, patting the seat next to him.

I hesitated, torn between the comfort of Trent’s company or the safety of my room. I cleared my throat,deciding his charm was not going to win me over tonight.

“I’m going to go to bed. I’m pretty tired. I have a Zoom meeting first thing in the morning, so I need to get some rest,” I said.

“Fine, no movie, but at least come sit and talk to me. Pretend you aren’t avoiding me for ten minutes.” We made eye contact for probably the first time in weeks, and his green irises softened me. “Ten minutes,” he pleaded.

I sighed and relented to his charm, after all. “Fine. Ten minutes.”

His face broke out into a big smile, dimple and all. Settling onto the couch beside him, I made sure to keep a safe distance between us. Despite my best efforts to keep things platonic, there was an undeniable pull that was almost impossible to resist. The lingering tension started to ease slightly.

“So, tell me about work. How’s everything going? You’ve been keeping busy, it seems.”

“Just the usual. Lots of meetings, lots of emails,” I said, keeping it brief.

Trent nodded. I could tell he wanted more than I was giving, but he wasn’t going to push too much.

“Everything okay? You seem more stressed today than usual.” He angled his body toward mine, giving me his undivided attention. He placed his hand gently on my knee, and I didn’t recoil.

“No, I’m fine, really.”

“You can talk to me, you know, if you want. I won’t push you to open up about what’s bothering you, but just know I’m here for you, Dotty. Always.” The sincerity in his words stirred a confusing mix of emotions in me, making it easier to drop my walls for a moment.

“I went to see my mom today,” I admitted. “I feel guilty that this was the first time I’ve been since I was nineteen. I’ve been in town for two months and hadn’t stopped by until today.” I realized as his thumb traced idle circles on mine that I hadn’t noticed I had placed my hand on top of his at some point.

“Everyone deals with grief differently. Hell, I’m not sure Colt has been back to your mom’s grave since she was buried, and Dorian goes every week. Don’t feel guilty that you grieve differently from others. She’d be so damn proud of the person you have become, Dotty. I know I am,” he said.

“Thanks,” I said, giving him a gentle smile. He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, rubbing my cheek before pulling away. I could feel him holding back, and I wasn’t sure if I was grateful or not for that bit of resolve. I pulled away, looking down at the spot his hand no longer occupied.

“You should get some rest. Tomorrow is Halloween. I was planning on staying home and passing out candy. Want to make a movie night out of it?” he asked. When I didn’t respond right away, he continued, “Come on, don’t rain-check me again.”

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