Page 67 of Unbearable

He nodded, grabbing our weekend bags and gesturing toward the door.

“After you,” he said, and we walked out to start the trip back.

Trent’s truck bobbed up and down on the eastern Oregon roads. The gentle hum of the engine would normally be comforting, but my mind was running a million miles an hour.

Even attempting to force myself to ignore what happened between us, I couldn’t help but replay those kisses in my mind over and over again.

This drive would be the last time I would allow mymyself to think about it. The last time I would allow my mind to wander to what his lips tasted like, what a life with him could look like, what all those feelings he managed to bring out in me felt like.

When we arrived in Woodstone, I was going to let it go and start putting my focus back on my career, on working toward the promotions I wanted and the life I had in Seattle. But with each replay, the regret continued to deepen.

He’d kissed me for the first time in ten years, and I had let him. I wasn’t exactly innocent in this situation. I didn’t push him back. I didn’t ask him to stop. I left my better judgment back in Woodstone—or maybe even Seattle.

Drawing in the fresh Oregon air, I turned my gaze out the window, watching the landscape blur by in a sea of green.

I had to set more of a boundary than we had discussed back at the hotel, or I would continue to let the lines blur between us. I knew I needed to set things straight before we got back in town, especially knowing how well Dorian could read me.

Summoning all the fake confidence I could, I cleared my throat. “Can we talk about this weekend?”

“Yes, Dot,” he said, as if he had been waiting for me to bring it up again.

“What I said before, it’s true. I don’t regret what happened. But I just want to be clear. This”—I gestured between us—“can’t happen. My life is in Seattle. Yours is in Woodstone. Ican’t.” I paused, trying to keep my voice steady. “I’ve known you my entire life, and we are finally getting back on good terms. I don’t want to ruin that, and I can’t get swept up into something that… isn’t meant to be.”

The words felt like a lie, but my brain told me theywere anything but. I couldn’t crush the leg that was finally standing, holding up our friendship after the last ten years.

“I understand, Dotty. I do. I’ll respect that.” He sighed. “But… this isn’t easy for me either.”

“I know,” I whispered before looking back out the window.

“Whatever you need. Whatever you want.” His voice was strained.

We were silent for the rest of the drive.

We arrived back in Woodstone and Trent took off almost immediately to work on the ranch, claiming he had some work to catch up on.

I was grateful for the distance as I struggled to reconcile my emotions. Deciding it was time to call in reinforcements, I clicked Noah’s name on my phone. Lacking the courage to call her, I sent her a text.

Me

I kissed Trent. Twice.

I hadn’t been ignoring Noah. I could never ignore her, but I was guilty of steering our conversations away from me—and especially from me and Trent—giving her updates on work, the cabin, and everything else instead. I was surprised I had made it this long without confessing to her everything that had been going on in my head, but in truth, I was avoiding admitting it to myself.

My phone rang, and I pinched the bridge of my nose, accepting Noah’s FaceTime call.

I groaned.

“Hello to you too, my love! Now, can you please tell me what the hell happened?” she said.

So I did. I recounted the whole weekend to her, not leaving out a single detail.

“I’m sorry, Dotty. But I’m still not seeing where the problem is.” She chuckled.

“Noah!” I scolded. “The problem is that this guy broke my heart, left town, and we never spoke again.” I paused, turning away from the camera. “And I am leaving soon. My job is in Seattle. You are in Seattle. I can’t let history repeat itself.” I let out a breath. “What planet is in retrograde? This is too many feelings for me,” I whined.

“Mercury,” she said flatly.

I looked back at my screen to see her give me an inquisitive expression. “Do you realize you just figured out the answer to your problem?” Her eyebrows lifted.

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