Page 61 of Cuckoo

‘Killer,’ he replies.

Chapter Fifty-Four

Maja Andersson

Today I have to focus, because Maja, Lilah’s mother, has arrived as Dodgson’s next witness. She looks terrible. This is not the woman I saw lounging on an obscenely expensive bouclé sofa with a glass of champagne in her hand and not a care in the world. This version looks haggard and frail, deep shadowed lines beneath her red-rimmed eyes, hands wrinkled and with a tremor. She’s lost her shine, her once-golden aura now a sad, murky grey.

I wonder if my own mother could ever have lost her sparkle as a result of losing me. In the entirety of her life, despite all the broken-down relationships I witnessed, I never truly saw her lose that. Instead she would plough straight on and dismiss the offending person from her mind, blink them away and move on to the next as though nothing bad had happened. I wonder, had I been the one to die first, if she would have blinked me away, continued with her life while using the loss of her daughter as another of her dramatic tales to garner attention and sympathy.

I find myself curling my fingers in anticipation. As Majatakes the stand, I notice her chest shaking sporadically and realise she is holding in sobs.

She is wearing a sharply tailored navy blazer, with a string of pearls around her neck. The white shirt beneath is so crisp I cannot see a single crease. A delicate gold chain decorates her wrist as she holds up her shaking hand to take the oath. Lilah’s mother is a wreck; that much is clear. She has been broken by the loss of her daughter, and I feel a sharp and unwelcome stab of jealousy at the sheer amount of love Lilah had in her life. I imagine her setting the table alongside Maja, both of them laughing companionably and sharing affectionate anecdotes. The realisation that Lilah will be missed so much more than I would ever be swarms over me and sends a prickling sensation through my chest.

I shake it away as Dodgson welcomes her to the stand to say her piece.

‘We’ll keep it short today, Mrs Andersson, as I’m aware this is difficult for you,’ he tells her, with a pointed glance at the jury.

She mouthsthank youat him silently, as though fearful that using her voice will result in howls of grief.

‘Did your daughter Lilah ever mention the defendant to you?’

‘Yes,’ she replies, voice thick.

‘Can you tell us about it?’

‘Well, she didn’t tell me her name or many details. I don’t think she wanted me to worry.’ Her voice sounds cracked and scratchy, as though her throat has given out, and her accent retains a Scandinavian edge. ‘She had mentioned that a woman had become obsessed with Noah, but she said it flippantly, as though it was just an irritation rather than anythingdangerous,’she continues. ‘I would have told her to come stay with me immediately had I known there was any possibility of harm coming to her. I spoke to her almost every day and she only mentioned it that one time, as a by-the-by comment.’

‘Do you recall when this was, the date when she mentioned the accused?’

‘Yes, it was not long before her death.’ She pauses to adjust to this idea. ‘I believe they’d had a run-in with each other at a club.’

Lilah’s face flashes before my eyes, the way she flinched when I threw my engagement ring at Noah in the booth. Sukhi’s presence bolstering me as she chucked a drink at him. The way I threw that glass at Lilah, the shattered shards of glass behind her.

‘And this was the first you’d heard of her?’ Dodgson asks.

‘Yes, though not by name, as I said. Lilah just called her some strange, obsessed woman.’

I bristle.

‘And what did you know about Mr Coors?’

‘Well, everything, just about! I’ve known Noah since he was a boy. They’ve always been a pair,’ Maja says, and this time her shoulders crumple and she lets out a sob. ‘It’s been terrible, this entire trial, finding out about the man he truly was, about the other women, all these things that Lilah will thankfully never have to know but I will always live with. The knowledge that he played my daughter for a fool until her dying breath will haunt me forever.’

Dodgson bows his head, allowing her a moment to compose herself, the judge offering a tissue.

‘Is it fair to say that Lilah was known to the defendant, that they had already had a previous, violent altercation?’ Dodgson asks Maja.

‘Yes, that’s fair. Apparently the accused threw a glass at my daughter, which I would classify as violent.’

‘Objection! Hearsay!’ Grosvenor interrupts. The judge nods in agreement.

‘But it would come as no surprise to you that she would seek your daughter out again for a second confrontation?’ Dodgson continues.

At this, Maja stiffens. ‘Nobodysawthis coming.’

‘Apologies, I misspoke. What I meant was, they were known to each other and there was a possible motive for a clash?’

‘Yes. As Noah explained to me, the woman was unstable and clearly disturbed about him being with Lilah.’

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