Page 63 of Cuckoo

‘And so despite your close and long-established friendship with Mr Coors, there was never any hint he was conducting a relationship with this woman? That he was cheating on Lilah?’ Dodgson nods over at me, a faint smirk on his mouth that I want to slap away. Because the smirk says it all.Obviously Noah Coors did not date this pathetic excuse for a woman. Look at the state of her.It’s as though it’s an inside joke they’re all in on, that blatant curl of his lip a cruel sting to my wounded pride.

‘I never heard of Noah engaging with Claire in any way,’ Harry replies, his voice free from the slightest tremor. I pick up on that carefully worded answer, and judging by the way Grosvenor lifts her head, she has too.

‘Did Mr Coors ever speak to you about this woman in any other context, outside of a sexual or romantic relationship?’ asks prosecuting counsel.

‘Yes,’ Harry admits. My eyes dart towards him.He spoke about me. I knew Noah would have mentioned me, have shared something about me with his closest friend. I knew it!

‘He told me he met her at Morrisons.’ Harry falters for a moment as though treading water. My heart lifts at the memory of Noah’s eyes locking with mine across the aisle.

‘Well,metis a strong word…’ Harry retracts, tailing off with a frown.

‘What do you mean by that?’ Dodgson asks.

‘Well, he didmeether, I suppose. He spoke to her. Once, at the supermarket, about wine.’

I frown, unsure where he is going with this, fearful of howthis warm memory I have of our love-at-first-sight moment is going to become twisted in his account of it.

‘And then, apparently, she became obsessed with Noah. Began stalking him. I mean, I didn’t know it wasClaire.’ He glances over at me and swallows, the first sign of nerves. ‘I didn’t know it was this woman,’ he clarifies. ‘I just knew that he metawoman, in the supermarket. He told me about it at the pub over a pint, and we had a bit of a laugh about it. I didn’t take it too seriously, you know? It was just a bit of banter to me, my pal being supposedly stalked. And I didn’t know what she looked like or her name or anything until all of this came to light, and then it clicked. That they were the same person.’

I feel as though my stomach is falling out of my body.Obsessed? Stalked?

‘And that was the only time she was mentioned?’ Dodgson asks.

‘Yes, we didn’t speak about her after that night.’

‘And what was Mr Coors saying? About their relationship?’

Harry pauses to scratch the back of his head, his nose wrinkling slightly. ‘Well, not much, to be honest. Look, we were a couple of pints in, I can’t remember it too clearly. He just said some weird girl he’d spoken to in Morrisons was stalking him on social media.’

But I didn’t even have him on social media! I thought Noah hated social media?

‘Did Mr Coors seem concerned, or worried about his and Lilah’s safety?’

‘Nah, like I said, it was just a bit of a laugh over pints.That’s why I didn’t bring it up again, why I forgot until all of… this happened. I mean, all the girls fancy Noah, it’s not weird for someone to fancy him and follow him online. He didn’t seem bothered, definitely notconcernedabout it, or we wouldn’t have made a joke of the whole thing. He didn’t even mention Lilah in this conversation, as far as I can remember. It was just an anecdote, a funny story.’

I can tell from Dodgson’s expression that this is perhaps not what he wanted to hear, and he soon wraps up his questioning, Grosvenor stepping up to take his place. I find myself wondering if it’s worse to be seen as a stalker or a joke. A gimmick. An anecdote.

I was sixteen and standing at the vending machine in the school playground, reaching in for the ice-cold can of Coke I’d spent my spare change on. One of the few luxuries I allowed myself, as I was intent on saving all my spare cash to move out as soon as I turned eighteen. I turned, frowning, when a chorus of laughter washed over me. A gaggle of boys from my year were lingering nearby, shooting glances over at me, laughing. I smoothed my ugly school skirt down, tried to keep my chin up as I cracked open my can of Coke. I could feel my skin warming, and prayed I wasn’t reddening visibly.

‘Oi, Claire! Over here, Claire!’ one of them, Marcus, called over to me. I considered them. This had to be a wind-up. But the ones looking my way were smiling, the others uninterested, talking among themselves or kicking at the ground. I looked over my shoulder, unsure what to do.

‘We don’t bite, Claire! We just want to ask you something!’another boy yelled. Embarrassed by my own insecurity, I forced myself to walk over to them and they quickly enveloped me, closing me in the middle of their circle.

‘Good Coke?’ one asked.

‘Fine,’ I replied with a shrug, trying desperately to seem cool and collected, unbothered by this bizarre display of attention.

‘Right, so the thing is, Claire, Stevie here has something he wants to ask you,’ Marcus said with a laugh, shoving Stevie towards me. He, to his credit, looked just as uncomfortable as I felt at that very moment, shooting Marcus daggers and chewing on his lip with oversized front teeth.

‘Yeah, so, er, I just wondered if you wanted to go prom with me?’ he asked. He blurted it all out in one long sentence and I blinked at him, unsure if I was understanding correctly. His friends had all burst out into laughter and jeers, shoving each other in their excitement like a pack of monkeys. Internally, I was reviewing all the details that attending the prom would involve. I’d need a dress, which was something I didn’t want to spend my money on. I’d have to dance, which was something I had no interest in doing ever since that awful Latin dance class with Mother. I’d have to spend the evening with Stevie, which was not a prospect that particularly excited me. And I’d have to tell Mother, who would undoubtedly find some way to make it all horrible for me.

‘Oh my God, she’s actuallyconsideringit!’ one of them bellowed with exaggerated laughter.

‘It was a joke, Claire,’ Stevie said, rolling his eyes as though it was obvious. I flushed furiously, my chest tightening.

‘Claire thought Stevie wanted to take her out!’ one of them yelled with glee, and then they were all laughing as though it was the funniest thing in the world, a couple of them actually doubled over and dramatically clutching their stomachs.

I shoved my way through their horrible, sweaty bodies, escaping them as I hurried away, but their laughter chased me, and above it all, I heard one voice shout: ‘As if she thought anyone would ask her out unless it was ajoke!’

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