Page 43 of Biker's Conquest: Property of Rage

My frustration burns through me, and I ran out ofReal Housewives of Salt Lake Cityepisodes. There are only so many times I can listen to Heather complain before I get tired of watching reruns. I need a fresh distraction and breaking rules doesn’t do a damn thing to spice things up around here.

Crazy thoughts enter my head.Because I guess there’s technicallyonerule I haven’t tried to break again. My ass never wants to experience that riding crop again.Ever.

But Deacon absolutely would have to act if he caught me running away.

And let’s be honest.Ishould berunning away. This man kidnapped me and knocked me up because he got carriedaway after our transactional interaction. Then he brings me here, treats me like a princess when I’m good, a brat when I’m bad, and confuses the hell out of all my senses.

He’s making it worse with his “good guy” act right now. He won’t even touch me. Spank me. He won’t get rough at all.

And Deacon hasme so mentally fucked up that I want him to get rough. That’s the part of him I miss the most and now that he has his baby… that special fucked up relationship we shared has basically died.

What’s the point of staying here? I don’t need him to raise a kid. Plus, I can take his ass to court. I feel a guilty tug in my chest. It’s a heartless thought that I don’t even mean. See? Deacon fucked me up. I can’t even treat him like the monster that I know he is, because he makes me feel…everything.

It’s toomuch feeling and when you have that much feeling for a man, it can screw your life up. My mother followed a gambler to the ends of the earth and watched him drink away both their paychecks for the grand prize of his relentless cheating. And an STD once. I’m sure they wanted to keepthatto themselves, but sound and distrust travel easily in small houses.

The rare times we had a house instead of an apartment.

When you giveyourself to a dangerous man, you can’t get mad when you have to face the consequences. Deacon makes me feel alive, and it’s so damned exciting. But I don’t know if he can keep me and the baby completely safe. I keep wanting to test him.

An escape attemptwoulddefinitelytest him. But I need more time to plan…

“What’s going on, baby?”

I try to hide the fact that I jumped out of my skin. I didn’t hear that large man’s footsteps at all. Escaping him won’t be easy. I don’t love that he calls me baby, either.

“Staring into space, doing nothing.”

“Want me to hit the gym with you?”

This asshole.He noticed that I didn’t go to the gym yesterday, but he still isn’t punishing me… He’s trying this tactic instead.

“I already worked out today.”

“You did? Because I didn’t notice you in the home gym today and I have cameras everywhere.”

Rightfully, he should be getting pissed off. But he barely responds. Which pisses me off. Why is he acting like our contract doesn’t matter? The contract he printed out. And made me sign.

“I went.”

How much more brazen lying can Deacon really take before he snaps? I know this man and his desire to spank me, bruise my ass and more. How can he expect his total indifference to my misbehavior not to send some kind of panic straight through me. I still have no idea what he does for work, or what the hell he does all day, or on the days when he stays late.

“You did not go to the gym.”

“Are you accusing me of lying to you?”

“Yes.”

He’s still calm.Heat prickles underneath my skin. It would be one thing if I still had bruises on my ass, if I still had any marks to prove Deacon’s continued devotion to me. I have to deal with all these hormones, the changes to my body from the baby, and constant weird ass cravings.

“I’m also planning my escape.”

Deacon chuckles.He doesn’t even sound mad. What the fuck?

“Yeah, right.”

“I am planning my escape. I’ve been slowly pushing your boundaries for months and you don’t give a shit. Maybe you’ll care if you find me… actually, you won’t find me.”

My voice sounds steady enough,but my body trembles with rage as I lose control over my thoughts and emotions. I can’t blame the hormones for this. The strange tension built up between me and Deacon has a direct connection to this dynamic he imposed over both of us. Without his discipline, I am fucking lost, and without his discipline, I have no sense of how much he cares for me. We haven’t had a slow, gentle aftercare bath in ages.

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