"Read these and sign the back."

"What exactly is this?" she asks. "Your list of conquests?"

"Open the book."

Debate and questions are for men who have limited control over their environments. Keyshawn should know by now that testing me with her sassy comments won't get her anywhere.

Keyshawn opens the book and glances up at me.

"You wrote this?"

"Yes," I answer. "Read it thoroughly."

I never intended for her to read it out loud, but Keyshawn sounds stunned as she runs her index finger over the title words.

"A list of rules and regulations for Keyshawn Yancey."

"Yes."

She shuts the book and I have to suppress my initial flare of rage. I can get her to comply. She will comply.

"What type of maniac would sign this?"

"Someone who knew what would happen if they didn't."

She looks more irritated with me than scared, which I didn't anticipate considering she just accused me of being a murderer.

"And what exactly could you possibly do worse than beat me, kidnap me, and possibly kill me."

"There are worse things."

"Like what?"

"Selling you to a Mexican."

She rolls her eyes and opens the rule book, mostly to tuneme out. I only care about getting her to read -- and absorb -- my rules. I can adjust Keyshawn's attitude later. She purses her lips and slowly reads the first few pages before she scoffs out loud.

"You are out of your mind."

"Yes."

"I guess I understand why you're single."

"I'm not single."

This time, she glares at me.

"Aren't you?"

"We're together right now."

"No. We're having dinner. We are not together."

"Keep reading."

"I'm not going to..."

I interrupt her before she gets off another complaint. "Just read."