Page 41 of Ruckus

“So, you're telling me that if I slide my hand into these pretty little panties that you wouldn’t be wet?” I check, and her face gives her away.

“Oh… sweetheart.” I skim my fingertip over the fabric and make her shiver and when I hear Anita’s door slam shut I use my other hand to take a peek from behind the curtain and see that the coast is clear. “It breaks my heart to leave you like this.” I kiss her one more time before I slide out the door and onto the balcony.

“You haven’t got a fuckin’ heart,” she hisses at me before she slams it shut, and I rush down the stairs and move straight to the clubhouse. When I get to the door, I glance back over my shoulder and catch her looking out the window at me.

Maybe the arrangement we made last night ain’t exactly what I want, but it’s a damn good start. I wink at her before pulling open the door, holding the smile on my face… Until I see my best friend and remember that all that happiness I’m feeling, comes at the price of betrayal.

Idecide to wait until Ruckus has left the clubhouse before I make my way downstairs, something tells me that I’m not going to be good at this whole sneaking around thing. Especially now that I’ve had a reminder of how things felt between us. Just one look from him will have me blushing red and giving us away.

I don’t know how to feel about the arrangement we made last night, but I do know that it’s for the best. Ruckus still doesn’t know the full story as to why I left. If he did I doubt he’d ever wanna speak to me again, let alone be friends with benefits. I can’t get into anything deep with him but I also can’t stop thinking about him. At least this way, neither of us has to suffer that tension. We can unleash and enjoy each other. And Aaron won’t have to be hurt.

Ruckus was right about this place, it has changed. The people here have changed. I love being close to my brother again, even if he isn’t in the right headspace. I feel like I’ve already made friends here. Alicia, Eden, and Peyton have all welcomed me so warmly. The world outside is starting to feel big and lonely. I’m getting too comfortable, I’m allowing this place to start feeling like home and I can’t let that happen.

I watch Dev, Saint, Sasquatch, Vike, and Saul leave through the gates and when Ruckus and my brother follow behind thema few minutes later, I decide it’s safe for me to show my face. Picking up my purse I head out the door, hoping that Polly hasn’t closed up the kitchen. I worked up a real appetite last night.

I’m walking past the arch when I notice that Alicia is sitting in her car, and it looks a lot like she’s crying.

I rush over and let myself into her passenger seat, before putting my arm around her shoulder.

“Alicia, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing bad, Saul was supposed to take me to Bakersfield today. I was planning on telling Griller’s mom about the baby.” She bursts into more tears and I squeeze her a little tighter, she’s been building herself up to this and I know she’s scared. “I know I’m being dramatic. We can go another time but I… I just wanted to get it done. Saul wasn’t even supposed to go with them, they decided they were gonna take an extra cage, last minute, and needed another driver.” She snuffles and suddenly I see a solution to both our problems.

“Bakersfield, that's where Griller’s mom lives, right?” I check.

“Yeah.” She snuffles and looks up at me.

“Well, I get that it’s not really safe for us to be alone in Long Beach, but is there anything stopping us from taking a drive out to Bakersfield?”

Alicia smiles through her tears.

“Are you saying you’d come with me? I really don’t wanna go by myself.” She looks hopeful.

“Of course I’ll come with you, if you want to get this over with, let’s just do it. You shouldn’t be getting stressed about things, and Griller’s mom should know she’s going to be a grandma. I think it’s going to give her some comfort. Let’s do this… right now.” I sure as hell don’t want to face Aaron today, this is the perfect distraction, and I get to help my friend.

“You’re right, let's do this.” Alicia has a newfound confidence as she starts her engine, and when she starts creeping forward toward the gate, Rocco stands up from the plastic chair he’s slouched in and steps up to her window.

“Where ya going, ladies?” I figure he’s starting to accept his brother's return because he seems a little happier today.

“Did Saul not tell you?” I roll my eyes theatrically. “Alicia has an appointment for the baby today.” I’m surprised at how quick and easy the lie rolls off my tongue.

“Saul was supposed to take me but, plans changed.” Alicia catches on and shrugs her shoulders.

“Well, you girls shouldn’t be driving anywhere by yourselves. Let me head into the clubhouse and see who’s around.”

“Rocco, you know as well as I do that everyone’s busy. The doctor’s office is three miles away and Saul said it would be fine to go by myself,” she assures him.

“He said that?” Rocco looks confused.

“It’s just a doctor's appointment, and it’s for the baby.” I reach out my hand and tap Alicia’s flat stomach.

“Yeah, you should get to that.” Rocco quickly gets to work, opening the gates while me and Alicia both have to hide the smiles on our faces as we pull out of them.

I try and make the two-hour trip to Bakersfield as light and fun as I can. We talk about baby names and play a little marry, snog, kill. I decide to throw her off the scent by telling her I’d marry Sasquatch, snog Dev, and kill Sinner, but then I feel bad for Saint because he’d have to die too. He was new to the club when I decided to leave so I don’t know much about him. But I do remember that Sinner was making trouble right from the start.Polly tells me to treat them as individuals, not as one, and I guess that’s how the club brothers judge them. If it wasn’t, I’m pretty sure Sinner would have got them both killed by now.

Alicia doesn’t surprise me at all when she opts to marry Vike. Anyone can see from the way she looks at him that she’s got the hots for him. She chooses to snog Ruckus, and I had no choice but to swallow the bitter taste it puts in my mouth. She didn’t want to kill anyone, but I told her that wasn’t the spirit of the game so she decided on Sinner too.

We eventually arrive outside the one-story house on Deanbrook Drive, and it stands out from all the others in the neighborhood for all the wrong reasons.

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